New Week

So its a new week. My anxiety is still here I still feel like my head is spinning. But so is life.

This weekend we took a trip to NJ, baby's first trip there and really first road trip with her. It went as well as it can go with a 3 month old. She slept for a good portion then cried for a bit, we were all excited to be out of the car when we got to Grandma and Grandpas house. Everyone inside the house was waiting patiently for our arrival and my phone was blowing up with the calls and texts for the ETA. As soon as we got there and passed the baby around we hung out for a bit and then decided to capitalize on the fact the that the baby was being taken care of and mom and dad went to bed!

She slept horrible that night, it must have just been the change of scenery because she had a party at 2am. At that point it was my birthday so I just held her and let her snuggle into my neck while I smelled her wonderful baby smell. I talked to her about how it was my birthday and I was so glad to have her. Then finally she went back to bed and we slept until 6.

I knew it was my birthday but it just felt a little different. Not that I didn't care but I just felt eh about it. We had an easy morning and everyone wished me a happy birthday. We then decided to take the baby to get her picture taken with the easter bunny. I know right SO CUTE. Thats the super fun part about being a mom, I get to do all the super cute fun stuff with her. She got dressed in her adorable baby gap outfit and we were off to the mall. Her Auntie MoMo sat in on a picture with her as well. Adorable. I will add the pictures I just have to sit at my home computer and scan them and upload my camera pics from the weekend.

For my birthday dinner we went to this seafood place which was such a nice treat. I love me some seafood and boy did we eat. I seriously gained 5 pounds this weekend. No really the scale says plus 5. Sad Face. Anyway I had some clams and king crab legs YUM-O and Daniel had an 8 pound lobster. Yep 8 pounds. It was so intense but when offered something like that you have to get it. Everyone in the restaurant was looking and we had a good time just laughing about it and taking pictures. I had a few margaritas and then it was home for some cake.

So my momma made me a cake which was very good and she made it look pretty with glitter too. After the singing and the cutting and the eating we started talking about the glitter and it somehow came up that it probably isn't edible. Well lo and behold my momma put craft glitter on my birthday cake and we call ate it. Needless to say we laughed and laughed about, but my cake really did look pretty. My girlfriend from HS came to see me and the baby which was wonderful. It still is crazy to think we were just kids and now we own homes and I made a baby!

The hubs gave me beautiful cards that are so sentimental. He really has a way with words, especially when he just gushes about how much he loves me and how I have given him the best gift and how he is in awe of me. Really - he wrote he is in awe of me. Swoon. I have a good man! He also made sure Addie gave me a card too, so cute. He bought me a willow tree mom holding her baby, ( I really love them because we have received one for every big event in our life) and some white strips for my teeth!! YEA. I did ask for them, it may seem lame but those suckers are expensive and I can't justify spending my money on that crap. So its perfect when someone else does! Plus in my "birthday month" we received our new couch, new rug(s), new blender, new kitchen scale, curtains for our bedroom and new shoes so no need to feel bad for me. I think I am doing ok.

I head to the doctor next week to take precautions against having a little brother or sister just yet. Phew. And to talk to her about treating this crazy anxiety I have been having. I can't wait.

My baby girl is 4 months this Easter Sunday.

AND SHE ROLLED OVER!!! I have a video, I will have to post it. Keep your eyes peeled!

obsess lately...

So... things have been good. The time if just flying by. My brain hurts. I have realized over the past week or so that I have been experiencing anxiety and when I got to thinking about this new feeling I realized that I have been obsessing. And then obvi I looked it up because I have been doing things or rather hesitating and obsessing things, that I have never done before. And bam, Postpartum OCD and Anxiety. The first link had 5 symptoms that I agreed with which is crazy. It seems to be getting worse and thats why I think I am noticing it more. I have also been obsessing about things more and staying awake when I know it's time for bed. Its weird to see something change right before your eyes. At least its so clear to me. I go back to the doctor in a few weeks so I will be sure to let her know that something is up.

I do have to say the OCD has come with some positives, the house is clean, my dinner menus are created, I have a nice to-do list, I have thrown so much crap out, and I want to do more. There are times at the end of the day I wish I could just turn it off but I am going to talk to the doctor about it.

This weekend is my birthday, its weird it does not really feel like its here, partly because I have been focusing on everything else. But its coming. I still am in disbelief that another year has gone by, last year we went to Bonefish for my birthday, I had a glass of wine and a week later I found out we were pregnant. So strange.

Addie is turning into a littler person, I am fairly good at picking up her cues and she has a cycle thats somewhat easy to follow. Wake, eat, play, cry, sleep. At least when I am home Tuesday and Thursdays that how the day goes. The weekends are a completely different story because we are running around. Legit running, this past weekend was insane. Saturday we went to our WW meeting, Hubs helped a friend move, came home showered got ready for the banquet that evening, picked up the furniture from Pier1, hit up Justice to buy a gift for the birthday party, went to Jaimes for Olivias birthday party for an hour, drove to Henrietta and was at the banquet place by 5. We did stop to get some sodas and a 5 hour energy in there. Even without a baby thats a pretty hectic schedule, so add a baby and lack of sleep, Addie knew we had a busy day so she was up most of the night. Its no wonder I obsess! Ha. I shouldn't joke about that.

The weather has been so nice that I started to clean out the sun room too, I can't wait to use that space for the babys stuff. For such a little person she has a ton of stuff!

As for the events coming up in the next few weeks, the baptism is almost all done. I have the menu, some decorations, the favors, I just need to make sure I have a dress for her, buy Dan a new tie and make sure my house is spotless that day. Nice weather would also be a plus.

The weekend after that party is Cinco De Mayo again!!! I love this party, I love that its now our third year doing it. I have to come up with a great card again too. I am hoping to get that out next week.

As for now I am going to clean and work and clean some more.

Busy Bees

Whew.. if the time change didn't mess with it enough we have just been so super busy its insane. This weekend was packed. My sister in law is up from Florida so we spent some time with her, took a trip to Home Depot to look at tile for the backsplash, hit up our weight watchers meeting, dropped the car off to be serviced, Owens baptism and family party, target, pier1 and hobby lobby were all mixed in there too. Seriously if I were a toddler I would have napped by now but there are no naps for this here mama. I laid down for a minute right before getting myself and the baby ready for the baptism but really that was the majority of sleep time. Both nights were late midnight or later and of course I had to prep for the week.

That prepping still led to a really hectic morning, the lunches weren't made, I was out the door so late and when I got to the sitter I realized it was Monday and I forgot the check. UGH. Seriously, whats the deal. I need to get my head out of my ass. I can't really blame it on the lack of sleep, I mean I have not slept a full night since October or earlier.

Tonight I have to get some laundry done and straighten per usual. At least I know exactly what we are having for dinner this week and my fridge is stocked with goodness. I have been pretty proud of myself about this, I am trying to start off right with healthy eating habits and or course I am trying to loose the baby weight but first and foremost I want to do it the right way; eating delicious healthy meals and moving my butt! It can be depressing to look in the mirror or try on some clothes. At this point I can get over the marks, they are loosing color but its the pouch, it still looks like there could be a baby in there. Everyone keeps reminding me that it took 9 months to get that way its not going to come off quickly and that my little babe was 9 lbs 14 ounces. So I was stretched to the max. And this morning the hubs came into our bedroom after his shower and was commenting on how the drain was being really slow. I knew exactly where this was going. My hair has been coming out in clumps, its all over. Just another joy of having the baby on the outside. r.a.w.r

Our new couches are coming Thursday which is fantastic and with the nice weather it really is motivating me to get going. I want to clean the house and get outside. My battery operated vacuum is broke WAHHHH so I have to either use the broom... gasp or the monster vac. I think I used it too much and broke it that way. I mean seriously I vacuum my floors almost daily. Wood floors with animals always leaves the tumbleweeds floating around and they gross me out. So I need to figure out what's going on in that department.

Other than that I have just been purging my house, I don't want stuff. Get it out. Yuck. Clutter. It makes my head hurt. I love having things in a place and I am determined to de-clutter my whole house. One main problem I have to solve is the shoe situation, we don't have a mud room (this is a MUST for the next house) so you walk in the door and the shoes are every where. Maybe pintrest will help with this one.

I have our budget almost as complete and our weekly meal lists too. It feels good. Spring is coming and I want to spend it enjoying every minute with my munchkin, not cleaning.

And did you see the videos here. CUTENESS.

Addie is 13 weeks old. Whoa.

Videos -3 month fun

At least the 3am feeding can result in sharing the cuteness. I have a post in drafts from yesterday - not going to finish that now. She just had 4 ounces, both sides and is back in her crib.

I am going back to bed.

Stellas got her groove back...

Oh blog... I have been thinking of you but this super mom just has not had time for you. Between the fact that I sit at a computer all day, cooking dinner and laundry I just have had no time for you.

But I want to write on here so I am trying to type as fast as my little fingers will allow. Also bearing that my writs doesn't start getting all painful like and shooting pains up my arm. But I digress.

My little muffin is going to be three months old tomorrow. She is turning into such a wonderful little person. She is so smiley and just on the brink of giggling. She has a cold now, and the poor thing has a nasty cough. I have been researching homeopathic fixes. This is the second time she has been a snotty mess - pretty sure this will not be her last, thank you daycare!

Things at home have been really great too, I talked to my grandma for almost an hour last night. I just needed to call her to tell her how much I love her and how thankful I am that she gets to meet my daughter. I am also really glad that Daniel has been in my life enough and has felt enough of my grandmothers love. It saddens me that I never really got to know his grandma, and that she won't know Addison. For that I am really thankful that my grandma will be at my home in a little over a month holding her great grandchild.

This past weekend was amazing too, lots to be thankful for these days. Hubs company had their annual ski night so I went with the babe to just have a nice night out. And it was fantastic! The conditions outside were not so great if you were actually trying to ski or snowboard but I was not. I was trying to get as much cuddle time in as I could with my babe. Being it was not the greatest night to ski the lodge was close to empty and there just so happen to be a jazz/pop band playing. They were WONDERFUL! Now for those that know me, they know about my boyfriend Elvis. I am so in love with him and his music, I love the old time music... a lot. And these guys were really great, there was a little old and a little new. The lead singers voice was so smooth and the instruments were so refreshing to listen to. They actually are recording their first album in a week and I want to buy it! This is the band. Check em out.

My little lady also had a great week, the fed-ex guy stopped at our house a bunch within the last week. She got new cloth diapers, a few toys for her highchair, a place for me to store the diapers and a pail liner. WOO. I am feeling so super motivated I love it.

I also made a pillow to go in her room from the fabric that I covered the stool in, it was my first sewing machine project!! Go ME! Next I have plans to make some valances for the stair windows, its time to dress it up a bit. Hubs also finished my mail holder, LOVE. It feels so good to be organized. Really it does. My fridge has a little self-made calendar with all the meals for the week and I am starting running again tomorrow with Marisa!!!! WOO.

I have taken the reins at work and just started to get things together and I feel really good about it overall. The working from home two days a week is nice too, I get to watch her grow and still do what I really like to do. So all is good. I still have to finish her birth story, I just have to wait for hubs to help because I was so groggy, I can't remember everything.

I am excited the weather is getting nicer, I am excited I have stayed on plan all this week. Not so excited my milk seems to have gone down, but I am working on it. Excited my little one is so STINKIN cute!

Now these are in no order, and I am rushing to finish this before I go home.  I wanted to purge my cell phone of pics - sorry if some are the wrong orientation... just turn your head.

In her sling.

Seriously look at the size of the pepper!

Flowers from the best husband on my first day back to work.

Gift to myself so she is always with me.

Sleeping Beauty

Her Valentine to Daddy.

Watching Mommy cook

Her first valentines from her friends at daycare.

Swinging away.

To cool.

Girls day while daddy was at work.

Still so cute.

Finally found her fingers/.

Getting bigger!

Daytime walks on lunch with Mommy.

She is just so exciting!

My mom has told me many times not to wish the days away. Now everyone knows what I am talking about, the 'I can't wait for' moments. I have been trying to make a conscious effort to not wish my days away but rather realize what I am feeling... excitement. I just look at her and get excited about the days to come and the fact that she is all ours. She is so amazing and I never knew it could be like this.

This is my fourth week back at work and things are starting to fall into place. We started weight watchers last week and we both killed it, I am down 2 and hubs is down 5. I also ran a whole bunch of errands this weekend, opened Addison's bank account and took Stella to the vet. It was interesting dealing with the dog and the baby and being by myself. Hubs had to work so it was just me against the errands and I think I handled it pretty well. I have also been formulating a strategy for creating a menu with points and grocery list. I have a few index cards that I have started with. Each one has a food group and either recipes or items that fall within that category. So far the past three weeks I have been making dinners and getting our grocery bill in check. I have a pretty good idea about budgeting for that and the baby.

Financially this is definitely an adjustment, just trying to figure it all out with all the new things we need to account for. So far everything is working out well. Its all still so new. I feel like we are doing a good job. Work has been good, it feels good to be back and have some sort of a schedule. As with any new schedule there are little kinks that need to get worked out, like coming home to a sleepy or sleeping baby, how dinner is going to make itself and how the cleaning is going to get done.

What this whole new experience is teaching me is that I need to get organized. Weight watchers also helps with the trying to organized thing because I have to get the food back on track and with that comes everything else. My meals are planned for the week, the grocery lists are made and the fridge is stocked. The chore list is hung and the items I need to make sure I have in the morning are written on a post-it on the fridge. I am taking control and I feel in control which is nice too. I bought a few organizational tools on Amazon this weekend for the baby. Right now we don't have a good way to store the cloth diapers, I bought an over the door organizer used on ebay that I am hoping I can hang from the side of the changing table. I also bought an antibacterial pail liner for her dirty diapers and some toys for the high chair. I also got two new cloth diapers and a bin for bottle parts for the dishwasher. Lots of things I have come to find out I could use. Just amazing how much stuff this little tiny person has.

But here is to the last week of February and the beginning of my birthday month! I wonder what my daughter will buy me :) This is all so exciting and I love my little family.

My babys growing

It has been so apparent the last few weeks that Ms. Addison is really growing. Her checks have filled out and developmentally she is so alert. Her little hands are open more, her little thumbs are still tucked in but she definitely has had a few grabs of my hair. When she is in her crib watching the mobile in the mornings her legs are kicking all around. Vocally she coo's and her smiles have started to be a lot bigger and its apparent she smiles when we are around. Its amazing to watch her learn.


When I look at her she is growing up so quickly, its hard to not want to world to stop just so I can hug her some more. I do try to really cherish my moments with her. But as the hubby so nicely stated the other night, 'Parenting is hard.' Yes, I can most definitely agree with that. I have never been so many days without a shower in my life and when I do get one I always seem to forget something i.e. shaving a leg. But I will take my one stubbly leg for another baby smile. I feel like we are at the pinnacle of the roller coaster and I can feel my stomach about to drop. She is no longer a newborn she is turning into a baby who smiles and shows emotion. Its the most amazing thing I have ever done. Knowing we are responsible for her well being, it drives me to be better. She is such a motivation and she doesn't even know it yet. I am so very excited for the years to come and the moments right now.


The first month was really hard, figuring out the feeding and sleeping and overall adjustment. But these last four weeks have been so rewarding.

I have been working to establish a routine and although I cannot predict her daily napping and eating schedule she goes down to sleep fairly easy these days. I have also been prety good about the house schedule, well good to a standard of having a two month old. Its still messy in some places but I am getting here. I just recently cleaned out the spice drawer and the tupperware drawer. I am de-cluttering and keeping what I need, everything is going!

As for the weekend, it was a big one in this household and one that probably won't happen again for quite some time. Saturday morning we were up early and headed to Weight watchers, I am SO ready to get back to being me. After that we went to breakfast where we made good choices and then we went to Raymour and ordered our couch. Its one of those things thats been in and out of our 'cart' and we never pulled the plug. We really needed it too, the one we have had for years has served us really well, been moved three maybe four times and we got our monies worth. But its broken, the back has no support and its impossible to clean. There are water rings all over it, its a PAIN. So we bought a new one!!! YEA! Its a special order and should be here in 6-8 weeks, hopefully sooner. From there we went to Best buy and bought a new TV. Living Room make-over anyone! We only have had one tv in the house so that means the old one is going in our bedroom. That excites me because feeding my baby girl in the middle of the night gets boring by myself. Needless to say we spent a bunch this weekend and it will be sometime before we do it again.

But boy and I excited for a new couch! YIPPEE.