Addies Third Birthday - Day

I have found a quiet minute where I can't do much else so I feel like its a great time to get some thoughts out. This poor little blog space, I swear I will give it some more attention. 

We pick up my new used car on Thursday when I am back in town. My head seriously is spinning. This past week was bananas. I mean it seems like every week is crazy cray. I now realize why people retire, if I am doing this #*^% for years and year and years I am going to need a few years of sitting. 

Last week was Addies third birthday, I tried to post a bunch of pictures on Instagram and facebook to keep everyone in the loop. We had an amazing day, it was one of the best. I always knew birthdays were special and even when Daniel and I were dating I would make a big deal of both of our birthdays but having given birth it takes on a whole new meaning. I can so easily be brought back to the day, the minute she was brought into the world. I know all the details, they are engrained in my mind. 

We asked Addie what she wanted for her birthday and her response for weeks was that she just wanted pink cupcakes. Uh sure. I am not pushing the issue because I know in a few short years it will be a laundry list of items so for now I am embracing her simple requests. There were a few things up our sleeves for her day, most importantly was her My Little Pony quilt we were making. It had taken Dan about ten days to sew the front and a handful of days afterwards for the two of us to tie the blanket squares. All in all its a great blanket and she loves it. It is very heavy so she can't throw it around like her smaller ones but now she has a big kid blanket. The ponies she can rattle off their names are surrounded by pink glitter fabric. I look forward to her loving on this blanket for years and years. We decided to give her a few presents spread througout the day and it was wonderful. I want to do that every year. Daniel took the day off of work and we snuggled on the couch under her new blanket and watched Up. It is such a cute movie but gosh darn I forgot about the first ten minutes. Cry fest much. After the movie wrapped up she opened another gift, her My Little Pony shoes, those were a big hit too. Girl loves those ponies. Then we went bowling. She really liked it once she got the hang of it. Daniel and I were close but he ended up winning, he told me I was cheating because of the bumpers. Just wish I could have used those bumpers for another few pins and I would have been the winner. 

After bowling we came home to make cupcakes in ice cream cones and had a pasta dinner. It was just a great day one for the record books. I loved celebrating her, I have loved having a day all about her since the day she entered our life. 

Right before bed we let her open her last present for the day and she got some new Doc McStuffins jammies. If we could buy her the world we would. Needless to say after a very eventful day she cozied up under her balnket and fell asleep. 

I tell her all the time to stop growing and she tells me how smart she is and how she has to keep growing. This little girl of mine is so freaking amazing. She grows and learns daily. I am SO beyond thankful that I have these days with her. She will be starting preschool next year and then my time with her will be less and less. Right now its just the three of us and I love it. It is worth more than any amount of money. 

Looking forward

Christmas is in like days. DAYS away, but it just doesn't feel like it here. Tongiht Daniel spoiled us by cooking his family dinner. I try to keep it light on the weekends, mainly becuase I am sick of cooking. Although we are trying to eat out less which means cooking on the weekend too. 

I am still getting my Plan to Eat (P2E) all situated, I was really good about meal planning before Jackson came and now I am getting back into it. I started restocking our fridge/freezer since the middle of October and had to figure out a new system of groceries and planning. I waited until the Black Friday sale for P2E and now am getting all my stuff together. 

There has been a lot of getting back into the swing of things so having Christmas just kinda snuck up on us. Now we are ready, pretty much Addie is just getting a nice Christmas. We have just been getting stuff we needed for the last three months. I am not as excited about it as last year but last year everything was normal and she was my only little baby. I think Christmas Eve I will start to feel it but as for today, I am just gearing up for anoher Monday. At least story time is coming back, Addie needs to get out!  

I am very much looking forward to 2015, this is where I feel the excitement. This year has just been so heavy. Thats really the only word that comes to mind. There have just been so many things on our shoulders, just so many. Granted not all of them have been bad things, some very VERY good, but just a large amount of things. I remember feeling like I got my stuff together when Addie turned 8 months and now watching Jackson hit the same milestone I have some stuff together, and its just different stuff. 

So this week will be Elfis' last days, we will make sure to feed the reindeer and pick up some cookies for Santa. I am looking forward to doing more stuff for the house and enjoying some family time. Then we ring in a NEW Year, closing out our year of New things and moving onto a year. We have some events coming up as life is constant but it should be a little slower. Phew. 

Addie just turned three and I wrote a post about it, I will publish it after this one. Jackson is 8 months old and we found his first tooth today! 

And Christmas is Thursday. 

Merry Christmas!!! 

year in retrospect :.2014.:

year in retrospect

I think this year has taught me a lot, more than I could have ever imagined. There have been situations that were quite literally life changing. I was putting together our Christmas cards and wrote a synapses of the year. I used up almost the whole space. It is overwhelming. It is that feeling you have right when the rollercoaster peaks and your about to roll forward. This feeling has shown up more times this year than probably ever before. Addie turns three in one week. I have a three year old little girl. She is absolutely amazing. The rate in which she learns and the funny things she says. The way that I can see her do what I have taught her, it is a wondrous thing. She comments on the beautiful days and sings the ABCs to her brother when he cries.

When thinking about the year I just get this feeling of being blessed. That is the best word to use as it describes so many things. Our home is new and beautiful because of the hard work we do and the choices we have made. In those two aspects of life I am so pleased to have gotten to this point. I have learned to be humble and remember that I have to have today as I am not promised tomorrow. The latter of the two has been a concept that was harshly brought into my life years ago, it is something I have held close to my heart since then. Bringing life into the world of my own flesh and blood has made this a part of my everyday life. I am teaching my children to cheer for one another, to love deeply and be so thankful for everything. I am exceptionally proud of that.

This year has also solidified my marriage in a way I could have never known. We are stronger, we are a constant work in progress together, growing in the same direction. Our relationship has attributed to the humility. I am so fortunate to have a life partner who respects me as much as I him. A majority of my adult relationships were tried this year. I feel like adding a baby gives you a slight pass to be absent but with that addition came one thousand miles.  One valuable nugget of information has been that things work out as they should. The people who come into your life, there is a lesson to be learned, a reason behind it all. At times it may not be for you but rather for you to pass the lesson to them. If you make good choices you will lead your life down a road that leads to other good things.

The most magnificent piece of it all has been my faith. My ability to trust and believe. Let me tell you it is not easy. It is a challenge, not a struggle but a challenge . I look back and all the signs that pointed in one direction, in the gut feelings, the things that went my way and didn't. Most days I am in the happiest place of my life. There are many days that my faith is challenged, it is then that I look for my pillars of support. My friends, family, children - the things that make me most happy.

As we enter the final month of 2014, I reflect at how different my life is from a year ago. I am thankful for it all. The peaks and valleys, the highlights and dark moments.

My hope for 2015 is to continue to work on faith, believing in myself and my family, trusting that everything works as it should and bringing the best of myself everyday. It may not be the best in all things but the best in something.

Week of Thanks

When I look back at this year I am in awe of all of the changes that have taken place. There have been highs and lows but in the end I could not feel anymore blessed and lucky. Having a newborn shakes up your life so much as it is, moving to a different state while having a new one is just unthinkable. Then Daddy breaks his leg, one more change. Life has given us so many twists and turns. This month is all about being thankful. Thanksgiving is one week away. It will be different for us than any other year. We will not be spending this holiday in Maine. I have dubbed this year our humble thanksgiving. There will be four people around our table not forty. A piece of me is sad that my family has not yet met Jackson but I am pretty sure we will video chat with everyone there at some point. It really is just mind blowing when you think about the things you don't know. I didn't know we would live in Georgia, I didn't know Jackson was a boy, but in the blink of an eye my life changed.

Jackson is seven months old now, it really just went from born to now. He is so amazing. His little face and his laugh, ohhh I could listen to it all day long. I snuggle and cuddle that boy at every chance. There is a different love between a boy and a girl as well as the first and the second. I know whats coming and I know that it changes overnight. They sleep and they grow. You notice subtle changes everyday, things they couldn't do yesterday. We started telling Addie that she couldn't eat anymore so she wouldn't grow. She thinks its so funny and stands on her tippy toes growing in front of us. Little Miss is turning three in a few weeks. My buddy, my first baby. We have conversations now. She tells me her preferences and loves to watch Netflix. She talks about Wifi and her imagination is out of control! Everything is a jungle or mountain. Halloween was such a fun night for us, she knew to ask for candy and she even helped us hand it out. I feel so lucky to see my babies grow and change each day. I am trying very hard to cherish these moments, I know they are fleeting.

The house is coming along, there are still areas we need to furnish but that will come with time. We are just getting used to how things work, there are still light switches I am not sure what they do. I just found a chiropractor that I am going to see tomorrow. Its just so crazy that our whole life was shook up, I have to find all new doctors for four people. I just need days to be longer and for me to need less sleep.

At the end of the day I count my blessings. I have found that I have been so thankful for everything more now then ever before. We are so blessed. I cannot say it enough. We are healthy and happy and loved.

There was a little gem in our thanksgiving tote from last year and it reads - Give more than you take. I am trying everyday to give thanks, to give more of myself to others as well as me and I am looking forward to many more adventures with my husband, daughter and son.

Whats been going on

I have been meaning to write for so long and I am just going to throw this jumble together as quick as possible because my almost three year old is tugging my arm and asking for apple sauce even though she just ate. Jackson is thankfully not crying for half a minute so I am going to type as fast as physically possible.

We have been in the house for about six weeks now. The bugs are big but I sprayed and its been better. I am now just working on organizing and getting stuff in a spot. The kitchen is getting there and my mile long to do list has had a few things checked off in the last few days.

- Distracted by the small girl trying to get the prunes out of the pantry. She calls them big raisins.

- Ugh she got them and opened them.

The house is really nice, the extra space is wonderful. Especially with the big huge baby items that take up so much space and was suffocating us in the old house. There are moments I miss the old house, I was thinking the other day about the wood trim and the piece right above the sink that my father in law made. It was beautiful. Now we just have to bring those same beautiful pieces into this house and I have the idea. Now its just executing them.

The unpacking is almost done, there are a few boxes still left to unpack but they are opened. I have to work on the basement and the craft room mostly. We bought a table for the craft room but need to get some shelves that will eventually go to the basement.

Dans broken leg sucks. We are going into week two and its just an inconvenience. I am picking up the slack. I am just tired.

Things in the stay at home mom life are pretty good. The house is a mess but its getting there. I am getting my freezer and pantry back to normal and figuring out the grocery store situation. But its really nice to be home with my kids. Jackson is six months old! WHAT! Addie will be three in a little over a month. Are you kidding me?! How does this happen. Addie is so big, she has such a mind of her own and is such a sweet girl. She has such a personality, she says cute things and is my little help. I am working on a few things that keep my time busy, like I have much time. I have been working for a software company that assists non-profits in fundraising and marketing.

Georgia has been great so far, I mean I am doing the same thing as I did in NY but the weathers great. It has a nice chill in the air in the mornings but by noon its 70 and sunny. Awesome. I am getting used to where things are and have frequented the grocery store a bunch.

Well screaming baby who is rubbing his eyes and the big girl in the high chair. Maybe soon we will all get out of our pjs and I am making marinara sauce for dinner and the freezer.

Just another wonderful day that we are very blessed to have.

Swirling Emotions

I am sitting here, alone. When I have a quiet moment I realize the swirling of emotions running thru me. Sadness is the top one right now, well that and hunger. Anxiousness is a close second with excitement following. This whole process throws you in so many directions emotionally there are some days I can't believe I have my wits. I mean my life just got flipped around again just three short months ago.

I do have to attest to finding strength in my partner. This move is something we have talked about for some time now, this was not just an overnight decision. We talk about everything. Its really an amazing thing. Its the air bag that catches you before you feel like your going to hit the ground. We go back and forth on who has to be the rock that day. More recently there are days when we both need it and I think thats when you just learn to work together and get the job done.

Jackson is amazing. Ahh that little boy, steals my heart some days. He is three months old now and leaving the newborn stage behind. He is alert and funny. He loves to smile back at me, with his big gummy smile. He has been grumpy the last week, its probably a million things as to why but give it another week or so and he will change.

Funny how I am acting with this baby. I just really love each stage for where its at. I know it is so short lived. Having Jackson, we are just more in the moment. I can't say that we were not with Addison, uh please. I have a picture of her almost every day on her life! But moreso in that I know whats coming, I have seen it first hand and know it goes so quickly.

Addison is OH SO AMAZING. This girl, I mean, I can't. What! How did she get to be a person, with thoughts and decisions of her own. She is no longer a toddler, babbling about. She is two and a half, she will tell you herself.  She's strong willed and beautiful. I catch myself staring at her, I am in awe of her. She is so big, her hair is so curly and snarly. Her eyelashes are dark and long and her eyes. They pull me in. When we stare into each others eyes I always tell her how beautiful they are, they have changed over the last six months. They are a green/hazel, perfect mix of Daniels and mine. There are days she says and does things that just make me so proud. She is still amazing with her brother, and my little lunch date, workout partner and mini-me.

Then I think about how all that really matters is us. That I can love this little growing family of mine anywhere. Sure I will miss my dear friends. Those who have lasted thru the shaking of life, the ones who have hung on, and the ones who own a piece of my heart. And there lies my sadness.

Dear Lord I am thankful, help us through this process

I am so thankful for the people in my life, serious. I don't know what I would do. I have a wicked headache right now. It could be the heat or it could be the housing situation. It could be that my baby was screaming before he finally fell asleep. It could be that I have cried more in the last week then I have since having Jackson. 

There are so many things I believe in, being a good person and trusting in my journey here. This process is pushing every boundary. I have so much to offer and I hope that when we get to our new home I hope that someone sees that as well. I am so freaking nervous about how things will work out. Its taking a toll of the both of us. Sleeping has been less and less the last week. This shit is so emotional. This house has brought so many good things to us. We recieved an offer on the house last night, so we are going thru the process in which it will no longer be ours. Its sad. We have put so much work, sweat and tears into this home. It will forever have a special place in my heart. Its charming and something that we have morphed from a dingy house to a warm inviting home. 

But our next chapter is beginning. It has some really great perks. The house we will get will be bigger and a house that we will really raise our children in. We will dig our heels in and grow roots. We won't have to deal with so much snow and cold weather. 

I tell my girl all the time how strong she is, I am telling myself the same thing. 

This is just crazy. Cray cray.