Day Two

So Day One went well, I have been wanting to take Addie to story time at the local library for some time but I was always working so I took advantage of the opportunity. We walked over there, I know wtf its freezing. But its only two streets over and to turn on the car and pack her up, its more beneficial for both of us to just walk over there. The walk wasn't even that bad, the worst was pushing the stroller thru the snow but I did it. When we got there I parked the stroller near the front door as it was completely snow covered and in we went. Now I am not really a social anxiety type person and I recognized one dad from swim class a few years back. We always seem to run into each other and our daughters are similar in age. I found out the library has a downstairs and an elevator. Wow. And then my kid was the one running all around, all up in the story-time ladys face and bossing the other kid to sit down. Ha!

The whole process took us from about 10:15-11:30, after heading over the wegmans and home. Then it was lunch time and she headed up for a nap. She was ready and so was I. I straighted up, completed my unemployment paperwork online and watched Dr. Phil. Which was crazy cray. Now even when I was home working I never really watched tv as I was working so I sat with a cup of tea and watched this 16 year old pregnant girl talk about doing drugs. Ew.

Addie woke up as the show ended and then Daddy came home. It was a quick day. I was exhausted by the end of it all. Its both mental and physical as sitting a desk is more mental. I am just making sure my head is on straight, I am upset that I lost my relationships with my clients and feel like it ended so abruptly, which it did.

But, today is a new day. We just finished breakfast, I swear that girl eats SO much. She is playing I am going to clean the kitchen, start a fire and then we are going to do some yoga. This mama needs a good stretch after walking yesterday. We are also planning on finishing the office/bedroom makeover. I have to clean out the remainder of the office stuff so we can move Addies toddler bed in as phase one of this transition. She is very much ready as we have been talking about it for a few weeks, she tried to pull her bed in there herself yesterday so I need to get on it. I also may try to catch Dr. Phil again today, its about the same girl and I want to see him give her a talkin' to.

Alright this SAHM is out!

Don't Worry About a Thing

Funny how you put things out there trust and believe and bam things change. It was just this week, what Tuesday I was crying on here about change. Well HA the universe laughed at me, because I was told today (Thursday) that I am being laid off. Well look at that. I headed into the office and packed up. Its been slightly surreal and I guess the change I was feeling. So for now I will be the stay at home mom, until this new baby arrives as I am most likely not the ideal candidate to hire right now.

This whole day has been very mental. There is a part of me that is so sad and heartbroken because something I cared for so much is no longer in my life. There is a part of me that can't believe I am where I am today, in terms of being pregnant and unemployed. I am in a position where no employer would hire me to then have me leave in two months. All of the feelings are swirling as its so brand new and soon they will dim and I will not feel so torn up. Come Monday it will be hard when my regular schedule has been adjusted.

The hubs has been great and really supportive so far. He came home with a bouquet of flowers and has been telling me that I have a very important job to do. And I do, I will spend my time and energy focusing on my family.

I can't help but to have the feelings. It can be best described as heart-broken. Time will heal it but for now it hurts. I can't sleep my brain is just running and running.

We have taught Addie to sing "Don't Worry, About a Thing" and I have to do the same thing. 

Because every little thing is gunna be alright. 

Happiness

There are so many things that make me happy and yet there are things I allow in my life that just ..do not..

I am struggling with this at this point in time due to a few factors. I know that things change and we grow and I have outgrown some things in my life. Yet where I am right now its hard to make more changes.

Ugh I know I am being so vague and annoying. I am annoying myself. I am just so annoyed and seem to say my catch-phrase more often than I would like. -Over it- I am having the same internal struggles week in and week out and I am feeling worse and unease about it all. Looking at this situation I am presented with I know that I am to learn from this and keep on keeping on. But wahhh. I want to cry like a baby about it. Not really but you get my drift.

I am just ready for things to shake up a bit. Now you all are laughing because in +/- 10 weeks we will be shaken up with a new baby. Yes I get that but pshh been there done that! I mean more, more shaking. Now I am feeling this way now and its been a low-lying feeling that peeks up every now and again and I have been able to control it, I am just getting to the point where I am so OVER IT.

For now I spew my brains all over this here blank page as a reprieve from work because I have been butt in chair fingers on keyboard since 8am. Using Caillou as a babysitter and occasionally dealing with a toddler bringing me plastic cookies. She did not sleep well last night, I think her tummy still isn't right. She said ouch a few times and just laid there with her eyes open. She just asked for a nap. So sure, I read a bunch of books and it doesn't sound like she has come out yet.

For now I just keep on keeping on - fo real. Things are coming, the tides are changing. And this life lesson is for me to learn patience among other things I am sure.

Addison's Second Birthday!

December was quite the month in our household. There were a lot of events and big things to take care of. Addie turned 2 on the 8th! We had a family party that day and a friends party the week after. We visited Santa and had to find a new sitter. There was Christmas with each family and even a sick day! As usual some of these events were on our instagram so these may be duplicates but bear with me its still cute. 

We interviewed a new sitter at the mall one evening and we planned on visiting Santa as well. We had talked about it for quite some time, she wanted to ask Santa for Mater (from Cars). When we got closer to this jolly old man she wanted nothing to do with him. She just stared and when we got her closer she blocked her view from him. Hilarious! 

After the Santa sighting we had some food court food and someone was happy as a clam. She got to 'play games' and played with the rubber duck Santa gave her.  

 Addie got matching slippers for her birthday from Yaya and Poppi. 

 We had a Minnie Mouse themed party for her, thats all she wanted so we had to deliver! 

 She also wanted Happy Cake, her version of Happy Birthday and Birthday Cake. 

 I have a running slideshow of photos from her birth to now and I played it last year for her birthday so I had it set up again. Amazing how the time flies and how much she grows! 

 We made sure to have themed food as well, Rice Krispy Mickeys, Hot Diggity Dogs, Minnie Mouse Oreos & Goofys Grapes.

 Thanks to my Dad we had a life-size Minnie Mouse in our house for about 3 weeks. Addie loved it and for that I tolerated but gosh darn that thing!

 Her day was full of Minnie Mouse! 

The next pictures were taken by my wonderful friend Marisa - who owns her own photography buisness Sweet Image Photography. Check her out. Amazeballs.