Addies Third Birthday - Day

I have found a quiet minute where I can't do much else so I feel like its a great time to get some thoughts out. This poor little blog space, I swear I will give it some more attention. 

We pick up my new used car on Thursday when I am back in town. My head seriously is spinning. This past week was bananas. I mean it seems like every week is crazy cray. I now realize why people retire, if I am doing this #*^% for years and year and years I am going to need a few years of sitting. 

Last week was Addies third birthday, I tried to post a bunch of pictures on Instagram and facebook to keep everyone in the loop. We had an amazing day, it was one of the best. I always knew birthdays were special and even when Daniel and I were dating I would make a big deal of both of our birthdays but having given birth it takes on a whole new meaning. I can so easily be brought back to the day, the minute she was brought into the world. I know all the details, they are engrained in my mind. 

We asked Addie what she wanted for her birthday and her response for weeks was that she just wanted pink cupcakes. Uh sure. I am not pushing the issue because I know in a few short years it will be a laundry list of items so for now I am embracing her simple requests. There were a few things up our sleeves for her day, most importantly was her My Little Pony quilt we were making. It had taken Dan about ten days to sew the front and a handful of days afterwards for the two of us to tie the blanket squares. All in all its a great blanket and she loves it. It is very heavy so she can't throw it around like her smaller ones but now she has a big kid blanket. The ponies she can rattle off their names are surrounded by pink glitter fabric. I look forward to her loving on this blanket for years and years. We decided to give her a few presents spread througout the day and it was wonderful. I want to do that every year. Daniel took the day off of work and we snuggled on the couch under her new blanket and watched Up. It is such a cute movie but gosh darn I forgot about the first ten minutes. Cry fest much. After the movie wrapped up she opened another gift, her My Little Pony shoes, those were a big hit too. Girl loves those ponies. Then we went bowling. She really liked it once she got the hang of it. Daniel and I were close but he ended up winning, he told me I was cheating because of the bumpers. Just wish I could have used those bumpers for another few pins and I would have been the winner. 

After bowling we came home to make cupcakes in ice cream cones and had a pasta dinner. It was just a great day one for the record books. I loved celebrating her, I have loved having a day all about her since the day she entered our life. 

Right before bed we let her open her last present for the day and she got some new Doc McStuffins jammies. If we could buy her the world we would. Needless to say after a very eventful day she cozied up under her balnket and fell asleep. 

I tell her all the time to stop growing and she tells me how smart she is and how she has to keep growing. This little girl of mine is so freaking amazing. She grows and learns daily. I am SO beyond thankful that I have these days with her. She will be starting preschool next year and then my time with her will be less and less. Right now its just the three of us and I love it. It is worth more than any amount of money. 

Looking forward

Christmas is in like days. DAYS away, but it just doesn't feel like it here. Tongiht Daniel spoiled us by cooking his family dinner. I try to keep it light on the weekends, mainly becuase I am sick of cooking. Although we are trying to eat out less which means cooking on the weekend too. 

I am still getting my Plan to Eat (P2E) all situated, I was really good about meal planning before Jackson came and now I am getting back into it. I started restocking our fridge/freezer since the middle of October and had to figure out a new system of groceries and planning. I waited until the Black Friday sale for P2E and now am getting all my stuff together. 

There has been a lot of getting back into the swing of things so having Christmas just kinda snuck up on us. Now we are ready, pretty much Addie is just getting a nice Christmas. We have just been getting stuff we needed for the last three months. I am not as excited about it as last year but last year everything was normal and she was my only little baby. I think Christmas Eve I will start to feel it but as for today, I am just gearing up for anoher Monday. At least story time is coming back, Addie needs to get out!  

I am very much looking forward to 2015, this is where I feel the excitement. This year has just been so heavy. Thats really the only word that comes to mind. There have just been so many things on our shoulders, just so many. Granted not all of them have been bad things, some very VERY good, but just a large amount of things. I remember feeling like I got my stuff together when Addie turned 8 months and now watching Jackson hit the same milestone I have some stuff together, and its just different stuff. 

So this week will be Elfis' last days, we will make sure to feed the reindeer and pick up some cookies for Santa. I am looking forward to doing more stuff for the house and enjoying some family time. Then we ring in a NEW Year, closing out our year of New things and moving onto a year. We have some events coming up as life is constant but it should be a little slower. Phew. 

Addie just turned three and I wrote a post about it, I will publish it after this one. Jackson is 8 months old and we found his first tooth today! 

And Christmas is Thursday. 

Merry Christmas!!! 

year in retrospect :.2014.:

year in retrospect

I think this year has taught me a lot, more than I could have ever imagined. There have been situations that were quite literally life changing. I was putting together our Christmas cards and wrote a synapses of the year. I used up almost the whole space. It is overwhelming. It is that feeling you have right when the rollercoaster peaks and your about to roll forward. This feeling has shown up more times this year than probably ever before. Addie turns three in one week. I have a three year old little girl. She is absolutely amazing. The rate in which she learns and the funny things she says. The way that I can see her do what I have taught her, it is a wondrous thing. She comments on the beautiful days and sings the ABCs to her brother when he cries.

When thinking about the year I just get this feeling of being blessed. That is the best word to use as it describes so many things. Our home is new and beautiful because of the hard work we do and the choices we have made. In those two aspects of life I am so pleased to have gotten to this point. I have learned to be humble and remember that I have to have today as I am not promised tomorrow. The latter of the two has been a concept that was harshly brought into my life years ago, it is something I have held close to my heart since then. Bringing life into the world of my own flesh and blood has made this a part of my everyday life. I am teaching my children to cheer for one another, to love deeply and be so thankful for everything. I am exceptionally proud of that.

This year has also solidified my marriage in a way I could have never known. We are stronger, we are a constant work in progress together, growing in the same direction. Our relationship has attributed to the humility. I am so fortunate to have a life partner who respects me as much as I him. A majority of my adult relationships were tried this year. I feel like adding a baby gives you a slight pass to be absent but with that addition came one thousand miles.  One valuable nugget of information has been that things work out as they should. The people who come into your life, there is a lesson to be learned, a reason behind it all. At times it may not be for you but rather for you to pass the lesson to them. If you make good choices you will lead your life down a road that leads to other good things.

The most magnificent piece of it all has been my faith. My ability to trust and believe. Let me tell you it is not easy. It is a challenge, not a struggle but a challenge . I look back and all the signs that pointed in one direction, in the gut feelings, the things that went my way and didn't. Most days I am in the happiest place of my life. There are many days that my faith is challenged, it is then that I look for my pillars of support. My friends, family, children - the things that make me most happy.

As we enter the final month of 2014, I reflect at how different my life is from a year ago. I am thankful for it all. The peaks and valleys, the highlights and dark moments.

My hope for 2015 is to continue to work on faith, believing in myself and my family, trusting that everything works as it should and bringing the best of myself everyday. It may not be the best in all things but the best in something.

Week of Thanks

When I look back at this year I am in awe of all of the changes that have taken place. There have been highs and lows but in the end I could not feel anymore blessed and lucky. Having a newborn shakes up your life so much as it is, moving to a different state while having a new one is just unthinkable. Then Daddy breaks his leg, one more change. Life has given us so many twists and turns. This month is all about being thankful. Thanksgiving is one week away. It will be different for us than any other year. We will not be spending this holiday in Maine. I have dubbed this year our humble thanksgiving. There will be four people around our table not forty. A piece of me is sad that my family has not yet met Jackson but I am pretty sure we will video chat with everyone there at some point. It really is just mind blowing when you think about the things you don't know. I didn't know we would live in Georgia, I didn't know Jackson was a boy, but in the blink of an eye my life changed.

Jackson is seven months old now, it really just went from born to now. He is so amazing. His little face and his laugh, ohhh I could listen to it all day long. I snuggle and cuddle that boy at every chance. There is a different love between a boy and a girl as well as the first and the second. I know whats coming and I know that it changes overnight. They sleep and they grow. You notice subtle changes everyday, things they couldn't do yesterday. We started telling Addie that she couldn't eat anymore so she wouldn't grow. She thinks its so funny and stands on her tippy toes growing in front of us. Little Miss is turning three in a few weeks. My buddy, my first baby. We have conversations now. She tells me her preferences and loves to watch Netflix. She talks about Wifi and her imagination is out of control! Everything is a jungle or mountain. Halloween was such a fun night for us, she knew to ask for candy and she even helped us hand it out. I feel so lucky to see my babies grow and change each day. I am trying very hard to cherish these moments, I know they are fleeting.

The house is coming along, there are still areas we need to furnish but that will come with time. We are just getting used to how things work, there are still light switches I am not sure what they do. I just found a chiropractor that I am going to see tomorrow. Its just so crazy that our whole life was shook up, I have to find all new doctors for four people. I just need days to be longer and for me to need less sleep.

At the end of the day I count my blessings. I have found that I have been so thankful for everything more now then ever before. We are so blessed. I cannot say it enough. We are healthy and happy and loved.

There was a little gem in our thanksgiving tote from last year and it reads - Give more than you take. I am trying everyday to give thanks, to give more of myself to others as well as me and I am looking forward to many more adventures with my husband, daughter and son.

Whats been going on

I have been meaning to write for so long and I am just going to throw this jumble together as quick as possible because my almost three year old is tugging my arm and asking for apple sauce even though she just ate. Jackson is thankfully not crying for half a minute so I am going to type as fast as physically possible.

We have been in the house for about six weeks now. The bugs are big but I sprayed and its been better. I am now just working on organizing and getting stuff in a spot. The kitchen is getting there and my mile long to do list has had a few things checked off in the last few days.

- Distracted by the small girl trying to get the prunes out of the pantry. She calls them big raisins.

- Ugh she got them and opened them.

The house is really nice, the extra space is wonderful. Especially with the big huge baby items that take up so much space and was suffocating us in the old house. There are moments I miss the old house, I was thinking the other day about the wood trim and the piece right above the sink that my father in law made. It was beautiful. Now we just have to bring those same beautiful pieces into this house and I have the idea. Now its just executing them.

The unpacking is almost done, there are a few boxes still left to unpack but they are opened. I have to work on the basement and the craft room mostly. We bought a table for the craft room but need to get some shelves that will eventually go to the basement.

Dans broken leg sucks. We are going into week two and its just an inconvenience. I am picking up the slack. I am just tired.

Things in the stay at home mom life are pretty good. The house is a mess but its getting there. I am getting my freezer and pantry back to normal and figuring out the grocery store situation. But its really nice to be home with my kids. Jackson is six months old! WHAT! Addie will be three in a little over a month. Are you kidding me?! How does this happen. Addie is so big, she has such a mind of her own and is such a sweet girl. She has such a personality, she says cute things and is my little help. I am working on a few things that keep my time busy, like I have much time. I have been working for a software company that assists non-profits in fundraising and marketing.

Georgia has been great so far, I mean I am doing the same thing as I did in NY but the weathers great. It has a nice chill in the air in the mornings but by noon its 70 and sunny. Awesome. I am getting used to where things are and have frequented the grocery store a bunch.

Well screaming baby who is rubbing his eyes and the big girl in the high chair. Maybe soon we will all get out of our pjs and I am making marinara sauce for dinner and the freezer.

Just another wonderful day that we are very blessed to have.

Swirling Emotions

I am sitting here, alone. When I have a quiet moment I realize the swirling of emotions running thru me. Sadness is the top one right now, well that and hunger. Anxiousness is a close second with excitement following. This whole process throws you in so many directions emotionally there are some days I can't believe I have my wits. I mean my life just got flipped around again just three short months ago.

I do have to attest to finding strength in my partner. This move is something we have talked about for some time now, this was not just an overnight decision. We talk about everything. Its really an amazing thing. Its the air bag that catches you before you feel like your going to hit the ground. We go back and forth on who has to be the rock that day. More recently there are days when we both need it and I think thats when you just learn to work together and get the job done.

Jackson is amazing. Ahh that little boy, steals my heart some days. He is three months old now and leaving the newborn stage behind. He is alert and funny. He loves to smile back at me, with his big gummy smile. He has been grumpy the last week, its probably a million things as to why but give it another week or so and he will change.

Funny how I am acting with this baby. I just really love each stage for where its at. I know it is so short lived. Having Jackson, we are just more in the moment. I can't say that we were not with Addison, uh please. I have a picture of her almost every day on her life! But moreso in that I know whats coming, I have seen it first hand and know it goes so quickly.

Addison is OH SO AMAZING. This girl, I mean, I can't. What! How did she get to be a person, with thoughts and decisions of her own. She is no longer a toddler, babbling about. She is two and a half, she will tell you herself.  She's strong willed and beautiful. I catch myself staring at her, I am in awe of her. She is so big, her hair is so curly and snarly. Her eyelashes are dark and long and her eyes. They pull me in. When we stare into each others eyes I always tell her how beautiful they are, they have changed over the last six months. They are a green/hazel, perfect mix of Daniels and mine. There are days she says and does things that just make me so proud. She is still amazing with her brother, and my little lunch date, workout partner and mini-me.

Then I think about how all that really matters is us. That I can love this little growing family of mine anywhere. Sure I will miss my dear friends. Those who have lasted thru the shaking of life, the ones who have hung on, and the ones who own a piece of my heart. And there lies my sadness.

Dear Lord I am thankful, help us through this process

I am so thankful for the people in my life, serious. I don't know what I would do. I have a wicked headache right now. It could be the heat or it could be the housing situation. It could be that my baby was screaming before he finally fell asleep. It could be that I have cried more in the last week then I have since having Jackson. 

There are so many things I believe in, being a good person and trusting in my journey here. This process is pushing every boundary. I have so much to offer and I hope that when we get to our new home I hope that someone sees that as well. I am so freaking nervous about how things will work out. Its taking a toll of the both of us. Sleeping has been less and less the last week. This shit is so emotional. This house has brought so many good things to us. We recieved an offer on the house last night, so we are going thru the process in which it will no longer be ours. Its sad. We have put so much work, sweat and tears into this home. It will forever have a special place in my heart. Its charming and something that we have morphed from a dingy house to a warm inviting home. 

But our next chapter is beginning. It has some really great perks. The house we will get will be bigger and a house that we will really raise our children in. We will dig our heels in and grow roots. We won't have to deal with so much snow and cold weather. 

I tell my girl all the time how strong she is, I am telling myself the same thing. 

This is just crazy. Cray cray. 

This time in our lives

...its hectic, stressful, emotional, taxing, tiring.

Jackson Daniel is 10 weeks old and its flying by. I find it hard to believe how big he is already. He is smiling and cooing and turning into a baby, no longer a newborn. I am so thankful that I get to spend each day with him to watch him grow during this process.

Today is an open house for our home. Hubs is stressed, unlike I have ever seen him. Our house is immaculate and its hard for Addie because we keep telling her not to touch anything. Baby girl has been glued to the Ipad for days. This process is not for the faint of heart. We are moving our whole lives hours away. There will be strangers walking through my home without me here. But its not my home anymore. I have to emotionally detach from it even though we have spent the last month putting the finishing touches on things.

I don't have anything else to do right now, the house is clean. Jackson is sleeping on me and Addie is watching TV. I can't cook as that will make a mess. I can't do laundry as it is supposed to look as if we don't live here. Plus Jackson does not have a dresser so the poor guys clothes are everywhere but his room. So I have a moment to get my thoughts out. I have to be the strong one right now, the one who has it all together because this process is eating Dan alive. I swear there will be a gray hair found once we get to Georgia.

The thought of a newer home, a more spacious home we can grow into is exciting. But this means its our home for a good chunk of time. Thats daunting. How are the schools? How is the kitchen? Is there room for a teenage hangout? Where can we put the hot tub?!

I have to start a new life down there. I have to get a new job, meet new friends, start new routines. I feel like I was just getting all that situated here. I am going to miss my friends dearly. Really, it makes my heart hurt. I know its the right time to do this, the universe and God made things happen to get us here. Its just a lot. Its one of those instances in life that challenges you on so many levels. I am thankful that my kids are young and that Addie won't really know because it would break my heart to take her away from her friends. I am sad about leaving her first friend but can envision summers where the girls visit each other and that they can become good old-fashioned pen pals. It saddens me that my in-laws won't know Jackson like they know Addie.

This pulls on every emotion. We are waiting, I feel like that page in 'Oh the Places You'll Go'...

Waiting for the house to sell
Waiting for a house to buy
Waiting for the day to move
Waiting for the job to come

Dear baby,

Dear baby, 

It is almost time for you to enter the world and for the two of us to become separate people. As you can imagine I have many emotions running through my body thinking about how our lives will be blessed in one short week. We talk a lot about you nowadays. It is not the easiest of concepts for Addie to understand but she surely knows that you are in my belly. My body has grown very much in the last few months, its pretty impossible to not notice, even for your two year old sister.

Your dad and I have been preparing for you by getting the house all ready for about the last month. Up until that point we knew you were coming but it seemed like it was still far enough away and Addie keeps us pretty busy. Your room is ready, sort of. Really the crib is set up and Addison has been moved to another room. I have left most of it the same and will make it yours when we know if you are a girl or boy. 

All that we have done since knowing and wanting children has been for you too. The was we love each other allows us to incorporate you and the way we run our family is waiting for you too. Who knows what the future holds for us, there may be other members of our family to come or you may complete us, but know that you have always been with us. You father will amaze you, he has such a kind heart and I fall more in love with him watching him with your sister. Addie is going to be such a good big sister, she can be bossy at times and I am sure you two may disagree but the bond between you two will be everlasting. 

Speaking of not knowing your gender, we are so very ready to meet you. Its more than just getting the information at this point of who you are but moreso seeing your beautiful face and meeting you as a person. Having known with Addie we were excited to see her and interested to know just how big she was. You child have been so very kind to your mother thus far. You are a bigger baby but I think we may just make nice healthy babies. This pregnancy has been so easy, granted I had my share of sickness and aches but all in all, I will miss you. As I mentioned before its been so different from Addison. I am cherishing these last moments with you, I love to feel you wake in the mornings. I can tell your asleep because your heavy on one side of my stomach. I can feel your back and give your some rubs to wake you. I also love when I eat and shortly thereafter you start dancing as you have just received some nutrients. Sleep has becoming non-existent but I look forward to having you to care for, over watching reruns of television at 3 a.m. I cannot complain about my size, its just as big as you need it and kiddo I know it could be bigger so thanks for not taking up ALL the room. 

Your sister and I have been blessed to have the last two months to really bond and for us to get closer. Really it was more for me as I will have these memories forever. I look forward to her meeting you, my heart will double in size in a matter of seconds. There is a part of me that wants to fast forward the next seven days and another part that wants them to slow down. Its such a struggle, being patient and  waiting versus anxiously hoping for another day. 

As I lay my head down tonight I will hold my belly a little tighter. I will embrace your kicks and nudges a little more. We have one week until you enter the world and I so very much look forward to that moment. I have loved you before I knew you and will love you until the end of time. 

Love Always and Forever, 

Mom

Busy little bees

We'll it's Sunday morning and I am writing this post in bed on. My fancy new iPad that was a birthday present to me! Last week was my birthday and I was for sure spoiled. In a good way, in a way that any 9 month pregnant woman really should be because frankly it's been a while since I could put on my pants without issues or have had a decent nights sleep. Thanks to my awesome Christmas present the fitbit I really do know how much sleep I am not getting. The birthday events started in Sunday when hubs let me nap, like a three hour uninterupted amaze balls legit sleep. I was so thankful. 

Monday morning I was woken up by serenades of Happy Birthday and a present to open. Perfect way to start the day! Then it was business as usual for Addie and myself, breakfast, playtime, nap time, wait for daddy to get home. That evening we went to my in-laws for dinner and got some foryo afterwards. There are some days that I just don't feel like froyo but it tasted very delicious that day. When we got home it was close to Addie's bedtime so I opened her present to me and it was a prenatal massage. Ahh! All I wanted!!! It came from both my babies and I am so excited. It has been scheduled for this Friday after my last pregnant lunch date with my husband. Daniel had me open my card from him which was beautiful, that mans really knows how to pick a good card. It's a hobby for him, and he is really good at it! He got us two tickets to a wine making class about a month after the baby is born,  I mean who doesn't love wine especially after being pregnant! We ended the day in usual fashion by TV time and then I attempted to sleep. 

Later that week I had a mom date with a really really good friend and we went to the melting pot. I had never been there and it was so good. Delicious, I ate my face off. It was a great evening of no kiddos and great conversation. I completely enjoy when my friends just pick up where we left off, I have not been the greatest on keeping up with all of them and I will try to be better, it's just really nice when there no hard feelings about being absent. 

Well I believe I have run out of uninterupted typing time as someone things it's funny to try to hit all the buttons. We have 9 days until this baby is coming out. We are tackling the kitchen, laundry and straightening downstairs today.  Also going to take full advantage of this nice day... Finally... To take some maternity pictures. So another busy day! Off we go! 

Two weeks!

Holy Cow. I can believe it and can't at the same time. Our baby is coming soon! and with this baby we get to find out the gender. It is getting to be so exciting I feel like its Christmas but bigger. This past Christmas I was so excited because Addie really was excited and understood more of the process this year but this baby coming into the world is 2x that feeling.

This pregnancy has been so good, really SO good. Easy from the start, a few days where I didn't feel so hot but I will take it. Baby has been sitting lower so I haven't had the breathing issues and feeling that my muscles were being ripped apart. Plus having another child to care for while being pregnant makes the days go so fast I get whiplash. My tummy is getting to the really big stage which just makes it heavy and hard to sleep but I don't want to wish this time away. This will be it for a while so I want to embrace these last few weeks of kicking and growing my baby.

I was spoiled rotten yesterday for my birthday. Seriously the hubs knows how to treat a girl right! First thing in the morning I got to open my new iPad, I was there at the purchasing of said item so I had a good idea it was coming. Then after dinner and Froyo I got two dates, one for a prenatal massage from my babies the Friday before the delivery and a wine making class with my love a month after the baby is born. Both awesome amazing gifts! I feel so blessed and lucky. Although there can be tough days and some things don't go my way all in all this life we have is pretty great.

For now I have to get some more things done around the house and I plan on taking Addie for a walk to Wegmans later to grab some stuff and to the park. Poor girl has been begging to go for a while now. Looks like we might have a good enough day to go... finally!

Lets tackle this list!

Two weeks from today, our life changes.

Anxious, Excited, Exhausted...

Here we are 22 days away from meeting this new baby and let me tell you, I feel less than ready. I know we have everything and if baby came tomorrow no big deal. Seriously, it really would not be an issue. I could care less about the status of my house, slight lie. I do care that there are hair balls the size of Texas everywhere and that Addie's play area is ALL OVER the house, not just contained in her area. That my kitchen floor needs a good scrub or that my bathrooms need cleaning. But I also don't, come over one and all. I know you all love me and care for me and can look past the dirt and grime. And if anyone is offering come on over with some rubber gloves :)

Today was a great day in terms of getting stuff ready. A good friend of mine, and freaking Guardian angel came over today and helped me get food ready for when the baby comes. We made lasagna, enchiladas, skillet meals, baked ziti, meatloaf and chili. My body is tired! It was so good to get it done though. We eat pretty healthy and I want to continue with this lifestyle even when I won't be able to prepare and cook in the weeks following my c-section and life with a newborn. I feel like at least I have one thing prepared.

I have been starting to 'feel' pregnant lately. Sleep has been harder the last month or so and I have pains that come and go. But seriously being this close to the end and feeling the way I do, I feel great. I have felt great the whole time. The doctor told me I have to take it easy though, I was told I am not on bed rest but I was told multiple times before leaving the office that I needed to take it easy. My blood pressure was slightly elevated and I had proteins in my urine. SO my body just needs a little down time. --HA-- thats kinda funny though knowing I have zero time and a two year old but sure I will take it easy.

Daniel and I have been watching a bunch of movies lately and last night we watched About Time. I swear, I cried through almost the whole movie. Being preggo and emotional this movie made the water works start and I couldn't stop. It was a wonderful movie that went thru the gamut of life, from new babies to loosing family members. It was a great movie that makes you think about life and truly how wonderful it is. I just couldn't stop crying. I can't wait to see this baby, I can't wait to welcome a new member to our family.

I have so many emotions - anxious, excited, exhausted...

Here is to the next three weeks before our life changes!

Baby No. 2 has a Birthdate

We are getting to the final stages here, I met with the doctor this past week for my 33 week check up and she asked if the hospital had called to schedule my C-Section. We have been teetering on this idea, mainly knowing that it would most likely go in this direction but it was a wait and see game. As the weeks went on I am still growing a 'big' baby and when it came time she made the call. I had not heard from them two weeks ago when she originally put in the request and at this past appointment I had not heard from them either. The Dr. told me to call by Friday if I had not heard, of which I did to only hear - 'oh hunny you've already been scheduled' - Hmm okay. Was anyone going to let me know?! She then told me that I should be receiving my letter in the mail and there is a packet waiting for me at my next appointment on the 21st.

I then asked when I was scheduled and I was then told the day that baby #2 would be born:

April 15th

Boom. And with that piece of knowledge life changed a little. And then a small nugget of panic set in because as of today thats 37 days away. Gulp. Now as I have mentioned before we have not done a whole ton in preparation for this baby and part of me is okay with that as we have all the -stuff-. A lot of stuff but then again I don't feel ready. I need nice weather to get outside and install the car seats into the cars, and clean out all the winter crap thats in there. I need to organize the bins upstairs for easy access to baby clothes, and we need to finish moving Addie's room so I can A) Get all her clothes out of our room and the babys room and B) so that I can start getting the babys room somewhat ready with baby stuff. I mean if I really need to clean out a drawer we can but thats a waste of a crib except big sissy is still using the crib mattress. Oh geez. We have moved the old office stuff downstairs but thats not all organized yet either. Oh boy. 

Then there is the fact that in 37 days we will find out if we are having a little girl or little boy. That brings an extra excitement to this whole process. I don't care either way because both sides have their positives. But not knowing has been pretty exciting. Most people are somewhat shocked to find out that we don't know and then they ask if we did not know for our first. It has been interesting hearing the questions thus far. 

I feel like someone took an extra month from me. Everything will be fine and I know that. Just a little shock to the system but so very excited for the next 37 days to go by so we can meet our new family member. 

Mardi Gras- 33 Weeks

Today is Fat Tuesday, I just made a kick butt Jambalaya. I had a doctors appointment for my 33 week checkup and all is well. I didn't gain, my blood pressure was good, baby HB nice and strong. Overall great.

I have been feeling nauseous lately, the same thing happened with Addie towards the end so I am just going to suffer thru and hope I don't have any crazy vomitting spells that send me to the hospital again.

My house is a disaster area a bit with moving Addies room - but it not being done yet and half moving the office stuff downstairs but not yet found a place for it. I recall my life being somewhat of a disaster when Addie was first born and I assume with yet another small person entering our lives that it will only be that same type of crazy for a little while here again too. Except this time I might get my act together sooner as its not the first time. Who knows. For now this baby is getting big. All signs are healthy and I like to sit on the couch.

Lent starts tomorrow and although I am not super uber religious its crazy to think about because at the end of these 40 days baby is coming. The hospital should be calling here any day now to schedule the C-section. I also spoke with my doctor about being able to watch the surgery. Yes I know some people think I am crazy but when do you ever get to be awake during a major surgery and be able to see your baby enter the world. I am not grossed out at all by medical things so I am looking forward to it.

I am also trying out Plan To Eat, an online menu planning site. I have been menu planning for over a year now and have the paper menus to prove it but I think there has to be a better way. I would like to get it all squared away so if/when I go back to work it will just make my life easier. Plus I know what we like and I don't stray from the menu, we eat relatively clean and it will be nice to just shake up the menu from month to month. I will let you know how I like it in the coming weeks, I get a free month trial.

If you want pics check the instagram - thats the easiest way for me to do it right now. So lazy I know but my energy level is like 50%. sue me.

Sleepy Mama

And its Thursday already... I started this draft on Sunday with some ideas of what to write about and I haven't. I blame my sluggish-ness of my dwindling sleep. I have felt that I am not sleeping as well and with my FitBit my thoughts are confirmed. 4 hours 2 minutes last night. Yikes, and I feel it from the second I 'wake' up.

Yesterday was my 31 week checkup, everything was fine. It was 15 minutes in and out, babys heartbeat was good. We talked about me passing the glucose test and how she wants me to spot check with my meter every now and again. She also said she would be giving the OR scheduler my number so we can schedule the C-section. Crazy that we are that close! Pretty much 60 days or less, wow! It feels surreal, I know the baby is coming we have been talking about it for so long but our house is going to be different in just two short months.

Baby is sitting so low this time around my pelvis is sore all the time. My chiropractor has been great but I think this is just the issue I will have to deal with until the end but this pregnancy has been SO EASY thus far. I don't believe I will be having to deal with baby feet in my ribs this time but I have to deal with baby head in between my pelvic bone.

I am gearing up for a pantry restock this weekend so I have been compiling recipes and getting ready. I am planning on Sunday being a full cooking day. With a possible nap break in between.

Short and sweet... so tired.

My Pregnant Self

It must be that time in my pregnancy in which my sleeping patterns start to change. Its 3am and I have been laying bed for at least the last 30 minutes listening to hubs breath and Addies music machine. I just can not sleep anymore. I tried to stay away from the screens to go back to bed but then my brain was thinking about Valentines Day, cleaning the house, bills, the usual rotation of items.

I have been wanting to write this post for a little while now and I thought what better time than now, when everyone else is sleeping. There are about 10 +/- weeks until we meet this new baby and I feel great. I really do and have been telling everyone how good I feel for a while now. It surprised me at first when I would respond with such excitement about how I feel and I think for a while it surprised others. Don't get me wrong I still have the occasional baby related un-comfort but for the majority of the time I really do feel fantastic. I love being pregnant. Yea the first 15 weeks suck but they suck for almost everyone. You feel like your face is attached to your toilet bowl and you can't breathe anything for fear of smelling rotting animal carcasses. Once that wave of sickness disappears its so pleasant. Then you feel the baby move and it is just a phenomenal feeling. That is one thing that I won't ever miss and I try not to take it for granted.

Hubs and I have talked and we are both cherishing these moments of pregnancy as we may never do it again. We get asked that question a lot, but an array of people and I have learned that I am in the years in which life changes happen fast and everyone wants to know whats coming next. Well, I don't know whats coming but for now we will have two babies in our house and a lot of parenting to do. Things may change in years to come but my crystal ball broke so I have no way of knowing.

This baby is so much lower than Addie was and for that I am thankful. I am hoping I won't have to deal with the excruciating pains under my ribs that I had to with her. I also passed my three hour glucose test, yea way. My hair is phenomenal again which is such a perk and my skin has evened out again and is supple and glowing. The skin on my belly doesn't seem to be pulled as tight which is a plus as I know I have ten weeks to go and hoping I won't get as big. Although the stretchmarks are still there and I am dealing with them but they still suck to look at. I believe I had them at this point with Addie, maybe not all of them but hubs and I have talked about getting them worked on in the future. I feel more fit this time around as well, I am not laying around as much, mostly thanks to Addie and we are a family have been eating way better. It helps that I am cooking meals 5-7 nights a week and we eat a boat load of veggies.

When I am pregnant I really feel beautiful. Hubs would say I am all the time and that is a perfect response but there is something about the fact that I am two people and creating life, I feel radiant. I don't mind the increase in body size and I don't mind people touching my belly, I get it now. As I sat in the lab getting blood work last Friday for three hours I met a bunch of people, mostly women but I was a magnet for them. There were some that were grandma's and told me how beautiful I looked and there were those younger mothers who reminisced about being pregnant. I am really fortunate. I feel so pretty and beautiful.

A huge thanks has to go out to my chiropractor who I found online and specializes in pregnancy. She is a miracle worker. She practices Kinesiology, or human kinetics and I love it. She focuses on how the body works with one another. I saw her yesterday and explained I was having a tightness in the pelvic region, showed her specifically where and we worked on getting those ligaments in alignment and loose. It was a bit sore but after having slept a few hours I realized I didn't feel it when I walked down the stairs. I love listening to my body, I hope to really teach this to my children and to the hubs. Its amazing when you feel great.

Speaking of feeling great, I am very positive about my recovery this time around. I know the first few weeks will suck because most likely I will have a c-section - seriously no big deal -  but I know what I am doing and I think my body has done a great job so far that my healing time will be shorter this go 'round. I will have about 50 pounds to lose but am not freaking about it. With our nutrition being on point I will incorporate the nicer weather and more movement and it will come. Thats another post about how my fitbit thinks I am sloth like currently.

I am so anxious to get outside but the cold and the snow are keeping us from doing that. I think back to when Addie was new and am SO THANKFUL it was a mild winter.  For now I need to focus on getting the house together and ready for this baby. Cherishing my body and the last few weeks I have connected with my baby.

Maybe there is some olympic sport on now to watch...

Menu for Valentines Day Week

I just finished the menu, we are down to small reserves in this house but I am slightly proud of the fact that I have not had to buy meat or have a large grocery trip in the last three weeks. We have had to buy perishables but duh, I don't want to eat moldy oranges.

Monday: Keilbasa, Onions Peppers Asparagus and Egg Noodles
Tuesday: Turkey Burgers and Fries, green beans
Wednesday: Ravioli and pasta sauce, roasted brussel sprouts
Thursday: Fish, asparagus, rice
Friday: Valentines Day Special Dinner - I am pretty pumped about this recipe but I want it to be a surprise so you will have to find out afterwards. My tummy is ready!

We have to leave for story time in about an hour and we will drive over today as it snowed pretty good and I don't think I will be able to maneuver thru the snow. Bummer! Then to wegs to pick up a few items. And because I was lazy bones yesterday and didn't prep for the week I have to do it today. Rawr. Seriously where are my fairy godmothers to clean and help!

I am 30 weeks preggo. Holy cow! Where did that pregnancy go!? I feel great and I *think* I may have passed my glucose test. Who said what! Yea I received the results via my portal and from what I read I passed. I emailed the doctor thru that system to ask for sure. I visit the chiropractor on Wednesday which I am looking forward to as I canceled my last appointment two weeks ago. I would say I am at 95% and she just gets me that last 5%. Fantastic. I am getting increasingly more tired though and its harder to move as my belly is bigger but all in all I really do feel great. Baby moves all the time and I am enjoying the feeling. I also don't believe I will have feet in my ribs this time around, this baby is so much lower than Addie was. I had a hard time with my muscles/ribs months after she came out so the possibility of not having to deal with that this time. Oh Lord!

Well time to clean the breakfast mess to prepare for the snack mess in an hour and then to the library. The cycle continues regardless of my readiness.

Addison's First Time on Skis!

All week we have been telling Addison that she was going to go skiing. She somewhat knew what we were talking about, she knew she had to wear things on her feet. Besides that detail and the fact we would be outside she had not a clue. Hubs and I were really excited to get her on skis. We both knew it would be short lived but were really looking forward to it. Addie fell asleep on the ride out there, we were both glad but didn't realize she would wake to be a super grouchy monster. That was awesome to deal with, thanks kid! We quickly unpacked and as anyone knows enjoying the outdoors comes with bags and bags of crap. I packed so many layers for her and myself. We got all our stuff in and then Addie refused to say hello to anyone and needed to wait for Daddy to come back from moving the car. Sure ok whatever you need, so we waited. Dad came back fast as lightning and then we got to changing her. She looked so cute and pink and everyone was in love with this grumpy little girl. We went to get her rentals which were equally as adorable. The boots and baby skis AHH. Adorable.

Hubs got the boots on her and she was not a fan at first. I had to keep explaining that they are supposed to be tight. Once they were on and she saw the girl getting her skis with the dragons on it, she was all in. They added the cable on the front the keep the skis together and had a hoop that you can use to keep your kid close to you. We headed outside to finish getting all together and get in the skis! She was excited to see all the other people on their skis and all the hustle going on. We strapped her up and Daddy got her feet clicked in.

 She really liked it, she did not quite understand the standing up while moving thing. Daddy was pushing her and holding her up at times, but overall she really liked it. There was another tantrum when we told her it was time to go in. It was a very cold evening and we were not about to be out there all night.

All in all, it was a great time and Addie can't wait to do it again... next year.

Aware of my surroundings

There are some days that I am very aware of my surroundings. I try to find the best and today must be one of those days that I am really on. Maybe its because Addie has slept thru the night for the first time in maybe a week.. eek. Or maybe its just because I needed a reminder about how wonderfully precious my life is.

I would say it started yesterday when I saw a facebook post about a local business owner that has passed away. He was late 40's with two or three children, after reading it I thought about him later in the day when I was putting Addie to bed. Its amazing how short life can be. It is such a precious gift and then I got to thinking about myself making life right now. Seriously blows my mind at times.

Then this morning Addie and I dressed -. dont judge .- and left the house to go to wegmans. I was getting some american cheese for Daddy's sandwiches and a sweet older couple was sitting in a randomly placed bench giving smiles to Addie. Of course my kid wanted nothing to do with them but he pulls out a fifty cent piece and tried to hand it to her. She wouldn't take it so I helped and got down next to her. He proceeded to tell me to put that in her piggy bank for college and that she was a beautiful little girl. We chatted for a quick second and I noticed his WWII hat, I thanked him for his service and walked away. I got all chocked up because I think I really needed that moment. A moment for someone to give and for me to receive. Its not about the money but it just gave me a little perspective. I think my brain has been on overdrive since leaving my job, and I don't believe I am in the minority about it. A thousand questions run thru my mind, how - can we make it work, time to make adjustments, worth and future. Now talk to me and different things come out but when I am thinking nothings off limits it seems.

And now facebook makes this video about your facebook life and my eyes got all wet (As Addie puts it). Ohh life is really beautiful and this is just a small piece of our story. Cry fest over.

For now I have a bunch of things I could do or I could take advantage of Addison being "down" for a nap. Which she is not doing as I just heard a freakin crash come from upstairs. So I will make a fire and straighten up for the next meal time will be here shortly and then I will watch Dr. Phil again.

Superbowl Sunday Lazy Day

So today is Superbowl Sunday. Not that I am super into the game its just a fun day to celebrate with friends and eat some yummies!

This day has started out quiet in this house, Addie went to bed late and woke up at 7. She needed a diaper change at midnight when she went to the bathroom. She is very much aware of when she goes now and needs a change immediately. She has regressed with the potty training and I can only imagine its due to the changes she has been thru the last few weeks. No big deal.

This is also the start of my second week home with Addison. Today I am trying to meal plan as I was so worn out of cooking and cleaning by Thursday night. I love to get things prepped and ready so here goes:

Monday I will make Crock Pot Sante Fe Chicken. I tend to do my prepping on Sundays so I am going to prep this in the crock pot and get it ready to go for tomorrow. Looks delicious and I love the way the crockpot cooks meat.
Tuesday, we will have tacos with the leftover chicken from Monday. Pretty perfect right!
Wednesday, Unsloppy Joes. If you have seen the pillsbury commercial running this past week, thats where I got the idea. Easy and since Addie really likes to help in the kitchen, I am sure she will love this one too.
Thurdsay will be a stir fry because Friday morning I have to take my 3 hour glucose test, so the night before has to be low in carbs.
Friday we will be going skiing for Dans companies event, so dinner will be there.  The three hour glucose test will really mess with my stomach. I didn't feel so hot this past week with the one hour one so I can only imagine how awful I will feel after this double potency drink.

Miss Addie also seems to have caught a cold somewhere so I am trying to heal her with what I have in the cupboard. She just drank some echinacea tea with honey and I know how powerful those things can be to the immune system so hopefully we will be in tip top shape in a few days. Going to crack her window when she naps today and try to keep her head elevated. Hoping she sleeps for a good amount of time to kick this too, her little body is fighting hard.

I am so amazed at the power that foods can do to help, we don't eat many processed items and have really been trying to avoid them more and more. So this girl eats so good and that makes this mama very proud. Its also amazing having been in the insurance industry because I try very hard to avoid the doctor. Its expensive and if I can heal at home I will surely do that.

This week I will continue to work on cleaning out the house and getting stuff out of our house :)

Day Two

So Day One went well, I have been wanting to take Addie to story time at the local library for some time but I was always working so I took advantage of the opportunity. We walked over there, I know wtf its freezing. But its only two streets over and to turn on the car and pack her up, its more beneficial for both of us to just walk over there. The walk wasn't even that bad, the worst was pushing the stroller thru the snow but I did it. When we got there I parked the stroller near the front door as it was completely snow covered and in we went. Now I am not really a social anxiety type person and I recognized one dad from swim class a few years back. We always seem to run into each other and our daughters are similar in age. I found out the library has a downstairs and an elevator. Wow. And then my kid was the one running all around, all up in the story-time ladys face and bossing the other kid to sit down. Ha!

The whole process took us from about 10:15-11:30, after heading over the wegmans and home. Then it was lunch time and she headed up for a nap. She was ready and so was I. I straighted up, completed my unemployment paperwork online and watched Dr. Phil. Which was crazy cray. Now even when I was home working I never really watched tv as I was working so I sat with a cup of tea and watched this 16 year old pregnant girl talk about doing drugs. Ew.

Addie woke up as the show ended and then Daddy came home. It was a quick day. I was exhausted by the end of it all. Its both mental and physical as sitting a desk is more mental. I am just making sure my head is on straight, I am upset that I lost my relationships with my clients and feel like it ended so abruptly, which it did.

But, today is a new day. We just finished breakfast, I swear that girl eats SO much. She is playing I am going to clean the kitchen, start a fire and then we are going to do some yoga. This mama needs a good stretch after walking yesterday. We are also planning on finishing the office/bedroom makeover. I have to clean out the remainder of the office stuff so we can move Addies toddler bed in as phase one of this transition. She is very much ready as we have been talking about it for a few weeks, she tried to pull her bed in there herself yesterday so I need to get on it. I also may try to catch Dr. Phil again today, its about the same girl and I want to see him give her a talkin' to.

Alright this SAHM is out!

Don't Worry About a Thing

Funny how you put things out there trust and believe and bam things change. It was just this week, what Tuesday I was crying on here about change. Well HA the universe laughed at me, because I was told today (Thursday) that I am being laid off. Well look at that. I headed into the office and packed up. Its been slightly surreal and I guess the change I was feeling. So for now I will be the stay at home mom, until this new baby arrives as I am most likely not the ideal candidate to hire right now.

This whole day has been very mental. There is a part of me that is so sad and heartbroken because something I cared for so much is no longer in my life. There is a part of me that can't believe I am where I am today, in terms of being pregnant and unemployed. I am in a position where no employer would hire me to then have me leave in two months. All of the feelings are swirling as its so brand new and soon they will dim and I will not feel so torn up. Come Monday it will be hard when my regular schedule has been adjusted.

The hubs has been great and really supportive so far. He came home with a bouquet of flowers and has been telling me that I have a very important job to do. And I do, I will spend my time and energy focusing on my family.

I can't help but to have the feelings. It can be best described as heart-broken. Time will heal it but for now it hurts. I can't sleep my brain is just running and running.

We have taught Addie to sing "Don't Worry, About a Thing" and I have to do the same thing. 

Because every little thing is gunna be alright. 

Happiness

There are so many things that make me happy and yet there are things I allow in my life that just ..do not..

I am struggling with this at this point in time due to a few factors. I know that things change and we grow and I have outgrown some things in my life. Yet where I am right now its hard to make more changes.

Ugh I know I am being so vague and annoying. I am annoying myself. I am just so annoyed and seem to say my catch-phrase more often than I would like. -Over it- I am having the same internal struggles week in and week out and I am feeling worse and unease about it all. Looking at this situation I am presented with I know that I am to learn from this and keep on keeping on. But wahhh. I want to cry like a baby about it. Not really but you get my drift.

I am just ready for things to shake up a bit. Now you all are laughing because in +/- 10 weeks we will be shaken up with a new baby. Yes I get that but pshh been there done that! I mean more, more shaking. Now I am feeling this way now and its been a low-lying feeling that peeks up every now and again and I have been able to control it, I am just getting to the point where I am so OVER IT.

For now I spew my brains all over this here blank page as a reprieve from work because I have been butt in chair fingers on keyboard since 8am. Using Caillou as a babysitter and occasionally dealing with a toddler bringing me plastic cookies. She did not sleep well last night, I think her tummy still isn't right. She said ouch a few times and just laid there with her eyes open. She just asked for a nap. So sure, I read a bunch of books and it doesn't sound like she has come out yet.

For now I just keep on keeping on - fo real. Things are coming, the tides are changing. And this life lesson is for me to learn patience among other things I am sure.

Addison's Second Birthday!

December was quite the month in our household. There were a lot of events and big things to take care of. Addie turned 2 on the 8th! We had a family party that day and a friends party the week after. We visited Santa and had to find a new sitter. There was Christmas with each family and even a sick day! As usual some of these events were on our instagram so these may be duplicates but bear with me its still cute. 

We interviewed a new sitter at the mall one evening and we planned on visiting Santa as well. We had talked about it for quite some time, she wanted to ask Santa for Mater (from Cars). When we got closer to this jolly old man she wanted nothing to do with him. She just stared and when we got her closer she blocked her view from him. Hilarious! 

After the Santa sighting we had some food court food and someone was happy as a clam. She got to 'play games' and played with the rubber duck Santa gave her.  

 Addie got matching slippers for her birthday from Yaya and Poppi. 

 We had a Minnie Mouse themed party for her, thats all she wanted so we had to deliver! 

 She also wanted Happy Cake, her version of Happy Birthday and Birthday Cake. 

 I have a running slideshow of photos from her birth to now and I played it last year for her birthday so I had it set up again. Amazing how the time flies and how much she grows! 

 We made sure to have themed food as well, Rice Krispy Mickeys, Hot Diggity Dogs, Minnie Mouse Oreos & Goofys Grapes.

 Thanks to my Dad we had a life-size Minnie Mouse in our house for about 3 weeks. Addie loved it and for that I tolerated but gosh darn that thing!

 Her day was full of Minnie Mouse! 

The next pictures were taken by my wonderful friend Marisa - who owns her own photography buisness Sweet Image Photography. Check her out. Amazeballs.