Its 2:15...

I haven't eaten lunch and I don't want to.

WTF.

Plus I am in a pissy mood, the whole daycare thing is still weighing on me.

Day care...

I am sure this is not the only time this will be brought up here... we have heard from many that we need to start looking soon because the good ones get snatched up. Ok ok I get it. We are looking, well its my job to look. Hubs is the car seat and stroller, mine is looking for a daycare of what to do with the baby. Now I know for sure that I will be breast feeding and most likely using cloth diapers so I need to find a place that can accommodate those two items.

Then there are the major concerns, will you care for my child just as I would? How am I going to pay for this?

The paying for it is a big one, I do find it slightly hilarious how it is $195 a week for an infant. Oh let me check the last time I had $400 sitting in my back account at the end of the pay period. Hmm, never. Yea never so this should be interesting.

It really stressed me out looking into this, the emotions are running wild and now I have to think about how to pay for baby and who I can trust. I looked thru CL and found a few SAHM (Stay at Home Moms) that I emailed. We would be looking to start about January and I am hoping I can work from home a few days a week. My office moved way far away from my house so my concern is the drive there and back, making it in time and not being blinded by breast milk.

I know everything will work out, it always seems to, it is just VERY stressful.

Hubs and I were talking before bed last night and he just said we will have to sacrifice more, uh I don't know how much more we can sacrifice. Downsizing to one car or not eating. Hmm. I don't make a ton at my job and I have a few hefty student loans that need to be paid down.

Oy vey Money!

4 months down

So we are officially 16 weeks or 4 months whichever way your brain wants to interpret that. As I always say it has just seemed to fly by, this upcoming month is going to go even quicker with the 4th of July, our 10 day trip to Ireland and work thrown in there. It is definitely a catch 22 - I want the days to go by so quickly so we can FINALLY meet our baby but I don't because there are lots of things to do before then.

Baby is as big as an Avocado. 

I have really been challenging myself to get one extra thing done a night. This night I worked a little longer and when I left the baby really needed Moe's so I had to stop. I would venture a guess that I have an extra pound of delicious burrito in my belly and I ate that so quickly it was like I just got home from Survivor. Other than that, I put away the stuff we bought at Bjs (we bought so much and saved a bunch, yea coupons!! I will show and tell my latest couponing adventures in another post) and cleaned the kitchen, appliances and all.

For those of you who have not noticed or who I haven't told, a few months ago I started a cleaning chart. If your saying its lame, I hear you but I disagree. I actually have it so every night there is a little bit and by the end of the week everything has been dusted or cleaned. So it makes for an easy way to double check everything got touched.

I do have to say within the last week I have been having that anxious Holy Cow baby is coming feeling. Seriously, we are going to be out of the country for 10 days and July is going to be a blink, then its the downhill slide to the due date. With this anxiety I have been noticing areas that I have just been too lazy to deal with.. i.e. the dust sitting behind all the electronics and on all the DVDs. Yesterday was the day to clean them... all. I looked neurotic but they are all nice and clean.

As for baby-ness things seem to be going well, I also have been having the "is this too good to be true" feeling. I have noticed more recently I have been just 'checking' to make sure I don't see any bad signs. There is no reason to even think that, no cramps no nothing. But I still have that feeling, it could also be that I just have had baby feelings every now and again but its not consistent and its been a month since I have heard babys heart beat.  Hubs tells me there is nothing to worry about and I know that, I guess I just have some left over fear wanting to say hello.

The belly is still growing, Hubs likes when I show it off, he would prefer I try not to hide it. Thats cute. My pain in the butt has seemed to subside which is awesome! I was so not looking forward to numb legs for the next 4 months. Other than that we see the dr for another 4 week checkup next Thursday, I am very excited to go. I just hope the urine tests come back good. Food seems to be my enemy at times. I will save that for another post.

Bah.. Pictures to come, Sunday I did not get out of my pjs and hubs is golfing tonight so maybe I will just make it a PJ week, seeing as I am already in them and he isn't home yet. I could just set up a tripod but thats too much work, I have laundry to fold.

The Registry... AHH.

So this past weekend I decided I needed to start the process. It is way more nerve wrecking than the bridal registry. Yes everything is so tiny and cute but what do I really need. Seriously which of the million different types of strollers are the best and which bedding set fits my interests.

We went to Buy Buy Baby and took the leap. I know the summer is going to fly by and I didn't want to get stuck later in the year without giving it some time. I signed some papers and away we went with the scan gun. Now like I have said in previous posts, we have a crib and a changing table, thanks Mom and Dad. So we are set with those two big things. I was glad they gave us a nice long obnoxious list of things that were "suggestions". But I didn't know where I was starting from so I was gracious about this 100+ item list. We started in the newborn section and picked a couple blankets and onesies. Not too bad. The next isle was the safety isle, ok well we have a few sets of stairs to think about and a roaring hot fireplace I would rather our child not touch. We looked at a few options to think about and moved on, still not too bad.

A few aisles later I just kept telling Hubs to mark whatever he wanted, I knew he wasn't going to be obnoxious about it. We studied the humidifiers as we have radiators and would need a good one for the baby. There were ones that looked like robots with crazy bells and whistles for a few hundo but we picked a modest under $100 one with a big reservoir. Perfect!

Then to bedding, we had already checked out the store so I knew what I liked and didn't. I did not like a lot of them. The dancing bears and butterflies just aren't my thing. We looked but did not pick anything.

Next to the bedding was the chair I really want. Its perfect.  It looks nice, will fit in the room perfect and does everything I want. Its pricey but its a really nice chair.

We left the strollers and car seats for a different day, its a big decision and there seriously are 100 to choose from. We picked a nice pack and play, that was a nice decision. Really it was 10 minutes we read two tags and picked one. We are pretty good at registries. Plus we have had our disagreements with our wedding one so we don't need to fight about the baby one. We found a play mat that Dan liked so we picked that one and some items for the beach.

The biggest items seemed to be last but out of the 20 highchairs we picked a nice one, not too crazy on casters like I wanted. That was an easy pick too. We got a bouncy chair and a seat for the table that he liked too. We even got a Bumbo. Haha.

So overall it wasn't bad. I didn't know what we were getting ourselves into. It went very well. We still have some major items to pick out i.e. ways to get around with child, car seat and stroller. But we did good. We weren't all out of our mind picking expensive stuff and we made good choices. I am just glad that we got started on it.

15 weeks

Where has the time gone! Its mind blowing to think we are 15 weeks already. Things are good though, I feel so much better and have had enough energy to take the pup for walks almost every night.

Hubs bought a toy car this past week, its a 1972 Dodge Demon. He loves it. I don't mind it, I just know how he gets with new toys. Wait, what, I have a wife? HA. We went to a car show Thursday night so he could show it off, he was quite proud and it was really sweet to see him so excited about it. 

I am also super glad this week is over because work was killer, that was one of the toughest weeks I had. Just tons of work and someone has to do it. So it did make the week go by quickly, I was also was so wiped out I would just come home and pass out so the house looks like a tornado ran thru it. I am not concerned though, thats life. 

My new crazy pregnancy symptom is a huge pain in the butt! From what I think it is, its my sciatic nerve causing some pain. I noticed it earlier this week when we were walking, it seems to act up when I move and I also noticed I get tingly legs much quicker. Obvi a call to the chiropractor is much needed. 

Thats my are we done yet face, I felt very large. But thanks to Teresa for the clothes!! 

From what I read online about it, it has to do with the placement of the baby, so it looks like the little one already wants to be a pain in my butt. Hehe. I will pay this price for sure. I just hope that as baby grows it wiggles its way off that nerve, please :) 

It still is strange to me to actually look pregnant, there is no denying it. We saw our friends Friday evening and they were all so excited. It was nice to see people I haven't in a while and feel their excitement. They all gave a feel and a look and gave their thoughts on gender... we will see. I will be posting a survey to get everyone feedback, its fun to play the guessing game. 

I also have to give a big Happy Fathers Day to all the Dad's out there. To my Dad, to Bob K and the Daddy to be. 

What a Journey...

Two years ago I had excitement and anxiousness, an unwavering show of support and love from all of my friends and family. I knew that in a few short hours I would be married to my best friend, my strength, my other half. We promised to each other to always be there, we promised to love for better or worse. Each day that has gone by we have stood by those promises and will continue to work towards being the very best we can be together. The past year has been a testament to the fact that we are meant for other, that we can hold each other up thru good and bad. We together have the ability to get thru any obstacles.

Right Before He Popped the Question

My love, look at how far we have come. I thank you for all you are and will be for me. I thank you for making me smile when I just can't, for holding me up when I haven't been able to stand and always being by my side. I know it was just as rough of a year for you too, you are just amazing, I look forward to the next eighty years with you by my side. I love you more with every passing day.

Oh baby, you have no idea how much we love you. I know I tell you everyday. We are just so excited to know that you are growing well and you are happy. I can't wait to celebrate our love with you.

We are 14 weeks today, we have made it. We have finally made it.

This week has been emotional for me, there are lots of wonderful celebrations to be had. I would not have changed it.

Here is to countless years of love.

A+

So yesterday was the doctors appointment and all week I have been eating and drinking and more eating. Needless to say I wanted the appointment to go flawlessly... and it did! Yea!! The urine sample was negative this time around for both keytones and bacteria. Yea. I was obviously pleased with the outcome. I got to hear the baby's heartbeat again. It is really comforting, I wish I could tune it in on my radio or something, I think I would listen to it all day if I could.

It is starting to become really real. Today was the first day I have gone to work without hiding my belly. Like I had mentioned previously I am weird and self conscious about it. I have no problem when I am home or going to the store around people I don't know, then I don't mind the looks cause really it looks like I am pregnant. I saw my shadow yesterday which was just a shock to me, it seems like it creeped up, Ha. Of course it did not we have known for months now that we are expecting it is just so visual now.

I still get the waves every now and again, when I wear pants below my belly button that pushes inward I feel like I notice it more. Its really reassuring that this baby wants to stick around.

I made our next doctors appointment and it is July 7th, seriously the months are going to fly by because even as I look at the calendar now, it seems like its just in a few weeks. We are also hoping to schedule an ultra sound before we leave the country to have some new pictures to show the family. I don't know if the doctor will do it but we will see, doesn't hurt to ask.

Other exciting news, two years ago today we closed on our very first home. It does not feel that long at all, it goes by so quickly. I really am in disbelief, we have done so much to it, and yet there is still so much to do. BAH I can't find a picture of the front to add, maybe later. It is becoming quite the little home, I can't wait to add the memories of our children to it. 

Love.

13 Weeks

Geez how time flies. We have been meaning to take our weekly pictures for some time now and we finally did it! I will remember next week to not take it at the end of the day as I look kinda messy and not as cute as I did in the AM. Plus for those who don't know, our house is not air conditioned, which I am ok with but it makes me look icky. Regardless, my belly is popping out.

There is something with my subconscious that has not fully embraced the fact that we are having a baby. I get really weird when I have to tell people, the new guy at work today asked if I had kids and I felt extremely awkward saying I was pregnant. I also get really self conscious about my stomach. I know it has popped out more than the regular but for whatever reason I just can't seem to let myself accept it. I am so excited don't get me wrong, I can't wait for Santa to get here. I am so hesitant to really truly believe it. I am sure I am not the only one to feel this way after multiple miscarriages, its just hard.

Then again has any of this really been easy....

Anyway enjoy the growing pictures, I will try to show it off a little more. I really will try.

Also some of you have been asking about email updates, well Blogger came out with just that, it is located at the bottom of the blog. I will move it as soon as I fix my header. I try not to sit at the computer all day and night so for now its at the bottom.

Some Crazy Pregnancy Symptoms:

Sleep: The newest is the inability to sleep well, my stomach seems to just want to stretch all night. It is getting bigger but it makes for an uncomfortable nights sleep.

Skin: This time around I have not broken out as bad as the first pregnancy, but my skin is like paper. Every bug bite I cant scratch or else I automatically bleed. My stomach is also getting tight so I have started the morning/ evening lotion regime.

Ears: This has been a really annoying part, I get ringing in my ears and then partial deafness for about an hour. It happened Sunday night last, but its really bothersome.

Fatigue and Sickness: Still a little tired, I don't stay up as much but BIG NEWS, I have not been sick in 8 days!

13 weeks 2 days

There’s no secret to balance. You just have to feel the waves

Well I am sitting here in work, just minding my P's and Q's and I am getting these strange feelings in my lower abdomen. Its not anything painful but more wavy feelings. When we went biking the other day I was peddeling and could feel the fluid movement. I described it to a girl friend as when you hold a water baloon in between your hands and you can feel the water move. Thats exactly what it feels like to me. But as I sit here at my desk not really moving around much, this morning I was all over so this is the first time I am still, I can feel this wave in my body.

I obviously looked it up to see if thats a feeling of movement and some women describe the same thing. So I guess I am starting to feel the movement. I thought it was a little early only being 13 weeks and all but wow. The more still I am the more I can feel it. It is really weird. I slept so horribly yesterday, my stomach was stretching and so uncomfortable all night, I wonder if baby had a growth spurt and that's why I can feel something. Hmm.

Anyway I will take it.

Food... Ugh

So I have been really trying to make a conscious effort to eat enough calories and drink enough water. I eat when I am hungry and apparently this has not been enough. I am down another pound this morning and I ate well yesterday.

Breakfast: cereal with milk

Snack: banana

Lunch: turkey sandwich and carrot cake for Deannas birthday which btw was delicious

Dinner: five guys fries a handfulish and a piece of white pizza from cams. Delicious!!!! I had five glasses of water too.

That seems like a pretty decent day. That's what most of my days are, but I am keeping track so the doctor will know exactly what I have been eating. I feel sick when I try to eat a bunch of food when I don't want to. I just have to be really conscious that even if I don't feel like it I have to just keep eating for my baby.

In other news I have been scouring the internet for maternity clothes cheap, I feel like its so expensive for things I may wear for a year maybe. Ugh so frustrating. My shorts from last summer still fit mow but they are definitely tighter than normal and I feel like the button pushes into my stomach and its uncomfortable. I need to get a couple belly bands, I saw a three pack on eBay for cheap.

This is when I wish I had a million dollars...

Dr. Dr. Give me the News....

I got a bad case of "I'm Concerned". Oh damn. That's not how its supposed to go. So I went to the the doctor today and brought my jar of urine with me as I have to do every time apparently. Really fun. and gross. Everything went fine, really it did. Apparently my urine sample had high levels of Ketones. Kidneystones!?! What? Ha, yea thats what I thought she was referring to but that is not the case. See below as to what I found on the baby website:

Ketones
Ketones are produced when the body starts breaking down stored or ingested fat for energy. This can happen when you're not getting enough carbohydrates (your body's usual source of energy).

If you're suffering from severe nausea and vomiting or you've lost weight, your practitioner may check your urine for ketones. If your ketone reading is high and you can't keep any food or liquid down, you may need intravenous fluids and medication. If ketones are found in combination with sugar, it could be a sign of diabetes.

Ok Ok so its not that bad. It is either one of two things, I am not eating enough (which duh, could be as I have been puking my brains out) or two a sign on diabetes to come. Now I seriously doubt the latter but then again who knows, this baby is taking anything it wants and leaving me the crap. I have been feeling better so I thought things would be cake today, bah. I was also told there was bacteria present, again read what I found on baby site:

Blood cells or bacteria
Blood cells or nitrites (produced by certain bacteria) in your urine can signal a urinary tract infection. If the dipstick test shows that you have nitrites or enzymes that indicate bacteria or blood cells in the urine, a urine sample will be sent to the lab to see whether you have a UTI.

So hmm, who knows. The doc is going to see me next Thursday to check on it again. For now I am writing down what I have been eating so I can bring it with me to discuss. I have not had much of an appetite, maybe I should post my food on here so you all can be apart of it too. Sure, why the hell not.

Breakfast: Coffee Mug full of life cereal and milk (all the bowls are dirty as I have a wicked cereal habit and a shortage of bowls)

Normally there is a morning snack of fruit or whatnot but Dr kept me later than expected.

Lunch: Buffalo Chicken Salad with Ranch from Matthews. I swear they make the best salad, I have tried these all over. Its my crack. I also had two glasses of water with lemon while there.

Mid Afternoon Snack: Rest of my salad I did not eat, another glass of water.

Dinner: TBD

I am heading home soon and hope to go on a bike ride this evening with my love. I have to have at least three more glasses of water and I really want a glass of milk so I am sure that will be with dinner. I guess that may not have been enough calories in my day so far, bah. I just don't feel like eating. I eat when I am hungry. Who knows. For now I track and drink and wait for next Thursday.

Memorial Day Weekend

I am sure everyone loves a good three day weekend and ours was very enjoyable. as you would all like to know the first coat of the paint is on the stairs. I helped a little and as soon as the smell started to bug me I went and cleaned the bathtub. That I have to say is my least favorite chore to do. Hubs was great though, the did a lot of the work even though I am sure he did not want to at all.

Saturday was such a great day, we woke up late, got a bagel, I painted a little, we bought Dan a bike and went riding around the neighborhood, and topped it off with a BBQ. It was the most perfect day we have had in a while. I did not focus on the house or the cleaning or the bills. We just enjoyed each others company. It was really perfect.

So as I keep saying I have to start the weekly pictures, I keep telling the hubs and his response is always tell me when your ready and I will do it. So needless to say it is not done yet. While riding our bikes I noticed that my little bump is noticeable. Its a good thing I will be able to ride all summer with a growing belly, at some point I just won't have enough room for me and the belly on the bike. I definitely look pregnant. I was wearing a tank top while we were at the lake and I feel like even when I try to suck it in as far as possible its still there. It is the craziest thing. Its just a visual realization that there is a growing, moving baby in my belly.

I have been feeling better for the most part, Friday evening I laid on the couch most of the evening with a raging headache. We took the dog for a walk an hour later and I had eaten some food, spaghetti type with red sauce, only to get to the end of our street and feeling the need to run back to my house as quickly as possible. Needless to say it all came up, I left a surprise for Dan and Stella outside too. I must have taken pretty long, time kind of flies when your heads in a toilet, just as I was flushing for the hundredth time the bathroom window opens from the outside and Dan asks if I am OK. He also noticed my present.

Saturday and Sunday were pretty good, I ate a lot. So much so that I thought I was back to normal. HA. Kidding. This morning it was back to my normal routine. I am cranky and tired and my stomach hurts. I just had some soup on this 90 degree day. Ya know the usual.

I was however trying to figure out what our next few weekends will consist of, June seems to be a pretty slow month while July is crazy already. It seems like the summer goes so quickly, its insane.

I am thinking we will go camping one weekend, I like camping. Its inexpensive and we get to be technology free and enjoying the outdoors. Someplace not too far, with good trails and pet friendly. Maybe I will look those up tonight.

My other idea is to rent some kayaks and spend an afternoon on the water. There is this place I have passed a million times so I know where I want to go. Last summer when we went away for our one year anniversary it was heaven and we went out on the kayaks and had a blast so that is definitely on the summer to do list. I would love to own one, hint hint Santa!

I feel like the next 5 months are going to fly by. 

Music, Sweet Sweet Music

So I am sitting here on this ridiculously hot day avoiding studying for my series exam... er starting to study. It's just too hot and my little super star Sophie and I are texting back and forth. Hubs is not home yet and my friend Kristi asked me to help design some things for her son's birthday party. She is a doll, I would do anything for her.

I am working on her project and doing some research on baby materials... those posts to come. I can't give it all away now. The real reason for this post is because I have an on-going request to all those who read this.

When we found out we were pregnant the first time last June, we were over the moon and I created a playlist for my baby. I have not played it since, and here we are again; so over the moon and so thrilled that we have been blessed again. So I play on... it is my favorite playlist, there are songs that make me cry and songs I sing at the top of my lungs. There are the oldies and the hit songs, the slow and the upbeat.

Our baby will be able to hear garbled noise soon and I want to sing and dance as much as I can. I might as well being I am hogging all the baby time :)

So dear friends if you have any songs you think should be added to the play list, I will be sure to give you credit.


Here are some pictures from the lilac fest, you can see the little bump there kinda. It was babies first concert in-utero. We were sweaty hot messes but enjoy.  The lilac fest is one of the best things Rochester has, I love that we have two lilac bushes at our house. The one we planted last year for our wedding anniversary so beautifully bloomed this year. Awww like our love ♥