So today was one of those days where I was running around, I had a doctors appointment so the kids had to go to daycare and Addie needed lunch and they were doing an egg hunt. So of course today of all days both kids want to sleep in. So I already feel like I am behind and I am begging small people to find shoes and let me comb their hair and other obnoxious requests said over and over. Finally I get everyone in the car, dropped off at school and then on my way. The traffic here is so similar to NJ but so different than upstate NY. So at 10am I am still fighting my way thru decent traffic. I get to the office and they get me in right away for the blood work. Easy... I have done it at least 15 times this month already so whats another one! The most I had to do was wait for the Ultrasound tech to finish with the lady before me. I get in and the tech says everything looks good, although she is vague because they cannot give me information as I am not their patient.
So I drive back hit up the ATM to pay daycare and grab eggs because I used the last one and was rushing to get to the egg hunt on time. Made it with minutes to spare! Picked up Jackson from his room and went to watch Addie grab some easter eggs. Earlier that morning I didn't feel like eating so I had a bite of a banana but now at 1:30 I was hungry so I stopped at Wendys quick. I knew I had to eat fast because Jackson does not nap well at daycare so I would have a girl excited to eat all the candy and a boy screaming at me because he is ready to sleep. So I got out of the car grabbed the bags brought them in, unbuckled Addie, grabbed the mail, then retrieved tinkerbell from the back of the car, found Jacksons shoe he kicked off and unbuckled him. Finally everyone was in the house, I let the dog out, told Addie a thousand times to wait for me to open her eggs and was getting Jackson some food to hold him over. We opened eggs I took some pictures, Jackson finished eating, I made a bottle and put him to bed. I came downstairs to Addie still playing with a few of the little trinket toys she received and answered some emails.
Addie was giving me a few moments so I was actually able to reply to these emails. The agency I am working with mentioned getting my plane tickets for me and Daniel a few days ago. I told them that Daniel did not plan on coming. Her next email was, Are you going to be okay on your own? and Can you give yourself the shots? Enter BadAss Mama - Hell yea I can go on my own (I mean c'mon a few days of quiet, alone, by myself with no chores to do and real cable?!) and Yes I can do the shots myself (I have to do them for almost three months so yea I have to get over the fact I am giving myself a needle and just do it).
After responding to that email and telling Addie she cannot have anymore candy for the millionth time it made me feel like I was awesome.
All the while my house is a DISASTER, I have had a cold for days and have not done any chores. But in that short moment I felt pretty good about myself.
This process of being a surrogate is no damn joke. It is a job, one that I take very seriously. I am the person who can make someones dream come true. That is a pretty big undertaking. I have been thinking a lot about where my life is going to take me and at the end of the day I just want to be a good person and raise my children to be good people as well.
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