I have had an interesting last few months in my life and I think I started to figure it all out yesterday. Now for those of you that know me, I am drama-free and truly believe life is precious and beautiful. But I have never had a sense of peace like I have found more recently.
Its hard for me to explain but as I sat in the ultrasound room yesterday, nervously waiting to see the baby and make sure everything was okay, baby popped on the screen and I had this wave of peacefulness. We were looking at a very healthy baby growing inside of me, while Addison was not interested and my husband, my absolute best friend was there experiencing this with me. I had no interest in finding out the gender and it did not even cross my mind as I am staring at this little body wiggling around. I was more amazed that I am making bones and a strong heart, again. In the rush of the day it was a moment that struck me like no other has.
Along with this peace I have also been light. Not allowing things to burden me and I can see the effects. I have amazing people in my life, and I am meeting amazing people. For instance I had a cleaning lady help with Addisons christening and I have not used her since. I made sure to save her number and called her 3 weeks ago, she remembered me and my family. We got to talking when she came over and was let go of her job recently so we were talking about that, she is a single mom of two beautiful kids. When she left I broke down, all I could think about was how her helping me was me helping her. The little money I was paying her was such a big help to me and I kept thinking that I was helping her to buy Christmas presents for her kids.
Last night I went to a nail salon with a groupon I purchased and met a woman who came from California a year ago after a failed marriage and needing to start over. Our conversation was wonderful and we are very like-minded. She even said back to me some of the comments I make to family and friends about life and time. It was so nice, I wanted to hug her afterwards. Again here I was, her helping me primp for Addie's party and I am supporting her business.
I may lose some of you here but I just feel like I want to write this... As I have been working towards this peaceful feeling and being pregnant I have opened myself up and started noticing these occurrences. I very much believe that I have a whole boat load of angels or spirits who watch over me and help me. I have felt this way for a while now. I am sure I gained angels since my birth but my first experience was when a family friends father passed away. He is and has been my guardian angel when I drive. In my Saturn I used to feel this breeze of air on my left side as if someone was breathing on me. It would come and go and I wouldn't have done anything, door and window closed. Since then I talk to him occasionally and thank him for keeping me safe.
Since being pregnant and having two miscarriages I very much feel that my babies spirits are kept safe and have met my angels. Its a comforting fact and freaks people out. I have noticed regularly for the last few months the time of my birth, everywhere. The numbers 9,4,1 show up daily if not for multiple times. I think my angels are reassuring me I am okay and so is my baby.
So there out in the www is my little life experience of growth and peace. I am so thankful that I have this now and that I can build my family on this feeling because it really is amazing. We will have our struggles and hardships but that's what builds us.
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